John Gorman

"Turn Down For What" still gets it done, though. Sometimes time doesn't need to move on.

Or even your own at 29, for that matter.

Your wife's cousin's kid's wedding at 42 is a very different experience than your college buddy's wedding at 26, I'll say that much.

Lot of adults in sweatpants and pajamas, and a lot of parents whose small children barely acknowledge them. These two things are probably related.

A lot of people like to come on here and say the definitive way they'd fix America in 2026 if only the American public would listen to us, but before you do this next you should treat yourself to dinner on a Friday night by the Chili's in Oconomowoc, WI. You will feel differently about your ideas.

Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and we’re doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs

Today is the day I finally stopped buying pants aspirationally. I've never felt so free.

Just get the 36, man. It's gonna be okay.

Did you know you can shrug and say "No can do boss" when a court orders you to do something

Finding out that generalized back pain is a thing that's only been around post-WWII really changed my point of view on a lot of this stuff. The human body evolved over millions of years to do what it does, it works fine, and we only recently changed that to do other things and mean something else.

This is like a fake military recruitment ad that would be on Arrested Development

"You want a beer?"

"No, man, my hair that you're cutting off is going to get in it."

"Okay, right on. You want to play pool?"

"No, man, I'm here for a haircut."

kevinrkirk 2d @ Threads Why are we bothering with the Strait of Hormuz when we could simply do this? Explain it to me like l'm 5. (Drawing of chopping of part of land) suahuatica 2d MOUNTAIN HARD AND BIG, WATER NO UP. MANY MANY DIG DIG.

Happy Friday. Don’t skip school.

Right, Google made its signature product worse to make its AI look better, which is not how these things are supposed to work. It'd be like Coca-Cola started making cheeseburgers and made their soda almost unpalatable so that you'll focus on the burger when you're eating it.

I don't think there's any question he's coach of the year, and I hope he vanishes in a cloud of smoke from the award press conference.

It is, again and I cannot stress this enough, incredibly easy to say things confidently even though you don't really believe them.

when your entire feedback loop is your replies on the most curated nazi site in the world, your perspective gets warped

Cooked us

bandcamp friday needs to get hoes and stay out of my inbox

A digitally drawn homage to the George Herriman comic strip Krazy Kat. Starting left of frame we see yellow Ignatz Mouse having just thrown a brick which is sailing across the center of the frame and in another instant will bash the oblivious Krazy Kat (a blue bipedal cartoon cat wearing a red scarf) in the back of the head as he walks innocently to the right. Everything is drawn in rough black pen and colored in pale washes. A speech bubble from Ignatz reads ‘Maybe it will…’, the word ’Happen’ appears in the whooshing trail of the sailing brick, and a final speech bubble belonging to the Kat reads ‘…Today’.

You watch this year's version of this team play and it doesn't make any sense, but then you realize they have like a real-life wizard or mage or monk or some fucking shit coaching them and it starts to make a little more sense.

Who is Joe Mazzulla? Does he even exist?

My first hit of a crack rock was incredible, I don't know what these other motherfuckers are talking about, pass me another!

BLUESKY POSTER: And I hope you die
BLUESKY EMPLOYEE: I hope we both die

Like a Voltron of missing-the-point

Good luck, buddy.

Anyway we know the economy has been in the toilet from the number of "upscale American comfort" restaurants serving fries with truffle aioli again

Here we go.

God, this is so embarrassing.

A quick cut of Tom Cruise from TROPIC THUNDER? Did they even watch that fucking movie, and if they did, did they get the reference?

Kylo Ren is the bad guy in THE LAST JEDI, he empties the clip on what he thinks is Luke Skywalker in that scene, and *it doesn't work*.

My university received a few years ago the promise of the largest single gift to a public university in U.S. history. It was equivalent to 12 hours of bombing Iran.