Three men in kilts
What a Scottish delight
‘Til a huge gust of wind
Whips up a fright
Tartan goes flying
Up over waist height
No longer quite such
a #bonny wee sight.
#vss365
She loved to sing like no-one was listening. But in this new house, they were.
A man’s voice, singing in #harmony, drifted through the wall.
Later, a knock.
“I’m Liz from next door. I enjoyed your singing! My late husband loved that song.
Always sang the bass part...” #vss365
🤣🤣 ⚡️
Writing tip: Don’t wait for inspiration to strike. Just churn out the words.
Alice disagrees. She goes on a clifftop walk to spark her imagination, the advice ringing in her ears:
“You’re more likely to be struck by…”
A clap. A flash. Damn. She was on the cusp of an idea then. #vss365 #lightning
💖🙏
She prodded at her face in the mirror, pointing out wrinkles & jowls.
“What do you mean?” he said, confused.
She rolled her eyes. “No need to lie.”
But he was still #spellbound by the image of her when they first met - and that’s the way he still saw her. Always would.
#vss365
I never did find that bracelet. But I’ve found lots of #jewellery since. I like to think it chooses the finder.
Take this bracelet, for instance. It grabbed me. Well, the hand it was attached to did, anyway.
I took it as a sign. Shook the hand and left it in the sinking sand. #vss365
🤣🤣🤣
The vinyls were quietly #magnanimous when CDs arrived.
Then they gathered dust together for years.
Now my son wants my Dad’s old records.
The faces on the Sgt Pepper album smile smugly as they’re carried past the CD box. Cool again at last.
Dad gives me the same look. #vss365
Thank you! ☺️
My parents planted an apple tree when I was born.
When I’m healthy, its fruit is sweet & #bountiful, enough to feed the neighbourhood.
They knew I was ill before I did. “The tree’s bare,” they said.
Their neighbours sent a card. “Get well soon. We want our crumble!” #vss365
Jen asked her ChatBot how to overcome her #lethargy.
“It’s a better therapist than you,” she told her therapist.
The therapist wasn’t sure how to respond, so she asked her own ChatBot.
They played cards & let the bots talk.
Jen felt better, so it worked wonders!
Or maybe it was the cards. #vss365
A message flashes up on my phone. “Click here for a glimpse into your future.”
Intrigued, I click. Reverse camera is on, my face filling the screen.
I blink. When my eyes reopen, they’re clouded with #cataracts.
Now I can’t see the button to click to go back…
#vss365
Every year on their anniversary, Susan visits his grave with flowers.
But this year, waiting in all his #splendour, is John.
She gasps. “Is it really you? Am I seeing ghosts now?”
“No. You are one,” he says.
On the grave, her name glints in gold letters. #vss365
Thanks so much! 😊
Jane was too #timid to speak up when her boss was rude. The words always got stuck in her throat.
But written words? Those she could turn into weapons.
One morning, the boss was found dead, slumped at his desk.
Jane smiled. He got her email then. #vss365
I hoped joining the metal detectorists’ club would bring me untold riches.
Instead, in my #quest for buried treasure, all I did was lose my bracelet.
But everyone was friendly, & afterwards we all laughed about it in the pub.
And I realised I’d struck gold after all. #vss365
“Literally #obsessed with these nails!” my nail tech squeals as she snaps a photo of my new manicure.
I roll my eyes. Young people these days always mis-use words. Of course she isn’t “literally obsessed.”
Mind you, she isn’t letting go of my hand… #vss365
“Ugh, don’t you hate the way these high- #velocity hand dryers make your skin ripple?” I say to the girl beside me.
“That’s nothing,” she says lifting a skinless, skeletal hand.
I yank my hand out immediately.
Her bones rattle as she waves goodbye. “Lovely & dry though!” #vss365
The influencer is testing that new “lit-from-within” highlighter that’s everywhere.
“Swipe it across the brow bone & #orbital bone like this, and… wow. Look at that glow,” she says.
Her skin flickers. Almost pulses.
“Join us,” she says. “Be luminous.”
I click *buy.* #vss365o
🤣
😁
🤣🤣
I really tried to channel Amy in my karaoke performance. They said it was #stellar.
Ever since, I’ve felt compelled to write songs & my hair has risen into a beehive of its own accord.
Now as I slather on the eyeliner, my reflection purrs, “I told you I was trouble.” #vss365
I smile sweetly at people on my walk.
But inside, an angry perimenopausal fire rages. My ear pods blast Rage Against The Machine while I stomp, murderous thoughts swirling.
An older woman nods #knowingly as she walks by, & I hope her carefree smile means this will pass. #vss365
I’m walking through the park at night when a man appears, swinging an axe.
“It’s ok,” he calls to me. “I’m not some #crazed axe murderer. I’m just stealing some fire wood from that fallen tree.”
“Good,” I say. “There’s only room for one crazed axe murderer round here…” #vss365
It’s no mystery who’s stealing my lunch from the fridge at work. Peter’s #blatant about it, strolling around eating my sandwiches in plain sight.
But I don’t mind.
I don’t even work here. It’s probably time I stopped following my son to work… #vss365
The alternative makeover. “Make Me #Beastly,” was strangely liberating.
Afterwards, we stalked through town, roaring & hairy, long-suppressed appetites suddenly raging.
And when we caught up with the men, we fed. #vss365
I wondered what Gran would make of the world today.
I asked AI. It replied in her voice:
“Stop checking in on me, pet. I’m gone. Live your life.”
I stared at the screen, #mystified. “How did you do that?” I typed.
“I’d tell you, pet… but it’d blow your mind.” #vss365
I leave the salon, my new #bouncy blow-dry putting a spring in my step.
Even the drizzle doesn’t dampen my mood. I wonder what hairdryer they use?
But my reflection shows flat hair again.
Still, I feel beautiful.
And, as I think it, my hair seems to lift in agreement. #vss365
