Laz 🏈👀

This is because they definitely emptied the SPR months ago to get gas prices down purely for gloating reasons

The phrase “pain at the pump” is back in a big way

me in 2050: doctor my nutritional gummy gave me covid 4
doctorbot (alpha) via ZMAIL ver 3: Kill you are self

When you're KIA in Operation Epic Fury they deliver your family this flag folded up in a triangle

Not great for a top 10 team to have 4 players with points 75% of the way through the game

sure seems that way

It would actually be cool if there was a news network you could watch to keep up on events without it being totally unbearable for a number of reasons

Wrong

eat shit old man

Anyone anywhere who wants to strap up and go to Iran is a “they”

I didn’t kill anybody. I’m abandoning the “we” framework for nations. I’m fine

Wrong

this is wrong. should probably just delete it it, its not worth it

USI

(Going for a morning run during school drop off hours) birth rates are far too high

It’s not a loan. It’s an investment

What if it was the ASU Frappe Leader and it was this kid who loved whipped beverages

Reminder to send your boss to Supermax prison if you get any work to do today

Crazy blizzard in the big apple. No choice but to stay inside, order a 12 ounce drip coffee on door dash and and a bacon egg and cheese in a separate transaction on door dash and if those guys aren’t here in 40 minutes I’m going to go fucking berserk!!!

I almost fucking died

Dog status: looking out the window and seemingly saying “Christ”

At one point the announcers were like, mad at the guy in the costume for being too silly and I was telling them to fuck off suck my dick through the screen

BUST STORM ALERT. 3 INCHES MAX!

(somberly) lol

Now would be an unbelievably good time for my dog to learn to pee out the window

Oh man would that ever be sweet…

And it’s about the highest possible stakes!

Ping Pong movie where nothing happens. You can get that in under an hour and a half guys

Marty Supreme runtime 150 minutes. How about 82 minutes?