Where do squares and rectangulars go to practice driving?
Parallelogram Park.
30.01.2026 19:11
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Where do squares and rectangulars go to practice driving?
Parallelogram Park.
What kind of events do apples tend to show up at?
Galas.
I don't care who you are, Wendy's chicken nuggets are the best. The slightest wiff, gets me all tingly inside.
A fun game I've started playing every holiday season is keeping track how many times I hear Mariah vs Paul McCartney's Christmas song. I think I should include NSYNC next year maybe.
Current daily montra:
Everything's going to be fine.
If not, you had a good run.
Nothing annoys me more than when I'm out shopping somewhere and someone asks me if I work there. Like I get it. I have resting retail employee face, but stop talking to me
Why was the cow nervous for their final grade?
There was a lot at Steak.
A goat in a coat with a tote eating oats on a boat that floats in a moat passed a note with a quote that it wrote. Vote.
This is the first of what will be a weekly newsletter about karaoke as I go through my weekly spots! Hopefully it can outline why I love karaoke the way I do!
open.substack.com/pub/thechris...
What do you call a marshmallow that helps deliver babies?
Doula Peep.
What do you call fake baked goods on a film set?
Prop-tarts.
What do you call a book about cats and ancient Japanese magic?
γγnomicon.
(Neko-nomicon)
Where do outcasts get their poultry?
In Eggs-isle.
What do you call it when you're sad in the Bahamas?
A tropical depression.
What does an indecisive genie use to clean his clothes?
A wishy-washing machine.
What kind of surf does the sun like to ride?
The heat waves.
What is Sisyphusβs least favorite kind of drink at a bar?
Anything on the rocks.
Repetition is the key to learning
What's a pig's favorite musical?
Ham-ilton.
What do you call a mattress that's been bitten by a zombie?
The walking bed.
Interviewer: In a few words, describe yourself?
Me:
For the month of July, I've decided to try and write my first feature. Here's to a productive month!
What do you do when they stop carrying your favorite brand of shampoo and conditioner?
You make a sudstitution.
What do you call a tasty bear in Spanish?
Delici-Oso.
Near, far, wherever Jafarrr!
A few thoughts on today
LA literally said, Surprise rain! βπ§οΈ
You know what'd be really cool, if they released the Batgirl movie.
How do sandwiches get to work?
The Sub-way.
Overhead in the Sprouts parking lot: "Bread and Brieeeeeee! That's some gourmet shit right there"