it looks like you're writing a novel

writing is lame. do skateboarding instead

keep going! i believe in you! [FREE TRIAL OVER. PAY £5.99 A MONTH FOR WRITING SUPPORT TO CONTINUE]

just get some guys and put them in a situation. that's it really

historical inaccuracies in fiction make people on the internet really, really angry, so you should include as many as you possibly can

i am going to start writing the first draft of my novel's sequel this coming week. i am posting this so you can all shame me if i don't

look, if you actually get some writing done today, you can do no writing tomorrow as a treat. happy?

randomly change the main character's name halfway through dialogue to keep readers on their toes

why don't you use your writing skills for something more useful, like asking people for money on the internet

lock (yourself) in (a room)(and finish that draft)

who cares if your protagonist is annoying? at least they're not from COMPTON PAUNCEFOOT, hey-O

read your work out loud while you're editing. that way you can tell if you've accidentally written a demon-summoning spell instead of a story

can't stress about all the problems with your first draft if you never read it again

when anyone asks 'where do you get your ideas from?' say 'from you' and then absorb them

stick to the POV you chose, unless it would be super fucking rad to move over to another character's POV for a sentence or two

make everybody gay. who the fuck cares anymore

make sure you always have at least 1 character that exclusively eats krill (not a whale character, a human character) (once they are introduced they spend the entire rest of the book explaining their dietary choices)

(finishes plotting out my novel's sequel) yay, i'm done! everything is planned! time t- wait my secondary protagonist doesn't have a surname

worried your protagonist isn't interesting enough? give them a silly hat!

stuck on a blank page? literally just put words on there. what are you doing

it's okay if your story doesn't have a deeper meaning. sometimes you should just write about a jealous twink for no reason

you don't need any skill to retell classic stories, you just need to be really, really horny

(sends my novel to beta readers to check it makes sense) ah i guess it's time to write the sequel

instead of doing actual writing, submit unusable and weird tips to the gr8writingtips blog on Tumblr Dot Com™ for peak online content

opening with a prologue? that's not very live laugh love of you

characters should ONLY make healthy choices! NO ONE wants to read about someone who doesn't start their day with a big ol' bowl of wheat bran

you DO need to read to be a good writer. my books. specifically you need to read my books

not won any literary awards? give yourself literary awards. book of the year. best book of all time. best writer of all time. literally nobody can stop you

your book is about a character? wow. who's gonna read that

struggling to keep your synopsis short? strip the story down to its core elements and focus on those: exposition, rising action, sex scenes, climax, falling action, what your protagonist's favourite songs are, resolution

fuck. did you know if you change things early in the plot, later plot elements need to change, too? someone should do something about that