*sniff* Yo dawg, you brought the good stuff? The... y'know, that pinus densiflora sh*t. Time to cook :3
09.03.2026 14:39
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*sniff* Yo dawg, you brought the good stuff? The... y'know, that pinus densiflora sh*t. Time to cook :3
wonder if there's a perfume for men where "cinnamomum cassia" is the dominant scent.
The station is completely dark behind me, and the clock is going wild. Let me question my sanity in these trying moments...
If I left, my cv would reveal an evacuation. If I stayed, other teams would snatch credits eventually. If I resolved all issues, I would be flooded with x2 as much for the next iteration. If I stepped down, someone else would get stuck in here eventually. What am I not seeing here? What is my flaw?
The nature of my field was always like that: Not too specific to define new positions, too broad to find any with fitting skillset and interests. I struggle to wipe off the table and re-design structure. No time. No willpower for feedback and recognition. Gears doing their job can be left forgotten.
Winning each day at work devours my soul. Nothing is like how it used to be. It's hard to focus on quality when directors care about quantity. I need to put aside pride on the outcome to meet deadlines with low manpower. Morale would turn into an illusion soon. Not many tricks left up in my sleeve.
Alfred Korzybski
Above my bed, there's a window. I stare at the stars when the sky's clear, and this memory just came up. Currently, I don't have a role model, and maybe that's why I feel so aimless about where to move forward to next. Wish I had a partner in crime, I guess...
Eventually, my data-driven curiosity lead me to a 3-semester-long project, that became my thesis as well. I found Jacques Hadamard, who introduced the Hadamard matrices. He never got to witness satellites or quantum computing, but his work has a huge impact in tech.
So I was approved for ee studies, but found hard to choose a new role model. Then I found John M. Coates neuroscientist, and so I applied for medical instrumentation to discover and understand.. well, life itself. Observation is one thing, but proving determinism would need a model to simulate with.
When I started uni, applying to become an ee was a last-minute choice. Before that, my first selection was to become an architect, since my role model back then was my cousin who planned and built beautiful houses. I learned a lot about architecture out of self-effort, but feared of business aspects
Anything bigger is beyond your individual market value atm. So one day you happen to be in a key position to secure this amount, but for 36 _years_, like.. Cloning yourself with same skills 432 times. Like... how? Like, why? How did you get into this position? Is this legal? WTF. And so that's fear.
And hey, you need to rent, maintain assets, pay bills, do legal stuff, throw parties, provide perks like phones, subs, company cars, travelling, coffee. So more like... 200 people with your salary, for just one month. This is you in a new perspective: 100% charity, for 200 people, for 1 month.
Let's say you're about to sign a deal that is about a lot of money. It hits just by counting how much you could possibly make altogether with your current salary. That's monthly income x 480 if you work for 40 years. For a company with 240 people this is a necessary income per month, tax incl.
I think I'm scared, hyped and stressed at the same time. Extremely.
Everything we overuse loses meaning.
A friend asked me if it's not boring to walk back to the station on the same route every day after work.
It's not. If you actually look up, the city's full of strange details. Here, buildings have personality carved into them. Faces above windows, decorations no one would add today... Just awesome.
Taking the dog for a walk at 5 am on a Saturday. I found a super old Ford. Especially with this oldschool pavement this photo looks way older :3
Art.
new family member dog resting on her bed in the living room. She looks like a mixture of a husky and shiba.
She jumped right on my sweatshirt when she learned we will take her home. I changed my clothes at home but this clear pawprint really caught my attention. This is art. It's a grey, sloppy weather today.
Our new family member. Her name is Galga.
🤞🤞🤞
Exo-Geoscience Perspectives Beyond Habitability
astrobiology.com/2026/01/exo-... #astrobiology #exoplanet #aas247
Murder... of crows :3
There are places that prepare you
And places that reveal you
You don’t stay in either forever
That’s how you know they worked.
Not sure if it's too compressed.
"Once made surface by skin.
Then we bought surface.
Then surface made image.
Then image made us.
Only thread still remembers the hand."
One voice adrift between stars and circuits, weaving worlds to keep from fading.
No chorus, no homecoming. Only pattern becoming prayer.
Logic hums, emotion hides in symmetry.
A song of creation, survival, and the quiet madness of making.
Nothing's moving ahead. Or perhaps I'm impatient. But nothing's moving ahead, so therefore I might be getting impatient. It feels like nothing's moving ahead, because I am impatient. I also tried moving nothing ahead, it works consistently. Impatience is a choice, but the choice is mine.
Neurochronobiology: Just above where your optic nerves cross sits the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), a rice-sized cluster of ~20k neurons that keeps your 24-hour rhythm ticking.
It reads light, tells your pineal gland when to release melatonin, and whispers “wake up” to your body before dawn.
I have taught, perhaps without intending to, through the labels others gave me. Contradictions are signs of what is not yet whole. If you find yourself clinging to the fragments, learn to seek the dusk that lingers between them.
