SpatialKimtamine

lady, look around, the world is on fire i can’t also deal with your condescending looks over me forgetting my reusable bags

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, dude?

Did they invent a back that doesn't hurt yet?

Don’t look back in anger bro wtf

bolognese is lowkey unstoppable

go-gurt but for soup

i have a sneaking suspicion. i have regular suspicions too, but this one is pretty sneaky

the first boss in this game is called “trash magnet” so it’s kinda like i’m fighting myself

We may disagree politically but we are all of us fascinated by parasitoid egg casings laid on the back of a tomato hornworm. Let’s build on this

Well, the aliens aren't going to fix this.

Not for fame, but for love of the game.
[eatin sausage biscuit]

those companies you’ve never heard of but they say they’ve been around since 1929 in their commercial

Sleep

Having a collective psychosis with the homies

I hope we make it out of this wavelength in one sexy piece

Today someone else did this so I didn't have to. He didn't see the funny side

Some diggety lots of doubt

baja blast bidets

Fucking losers

So many people unfollow me when I say gross sex stuff like they forget this is the internet and that’s basically its entire purpose.

Swallowing a couple of dryer balls to soften up my insides.

I should just stfu and start sleeping with someone hot and powerful

i am mad as a waterlogged rooster I actually don’t know how mad that is but it sounds like a lot

Kidwelly the black and brown puppy sleeping on a dog bed in my home office, like a perfect angel

Kidwelly in Velociraptor mode, baring her teef and flailing her paws, lying on her back

i can be yuor angle... or your devil

Remember when there was a difference between rage bait and information? Good times.

[Looking back into the toilet] I should call him

I played a game with my friend called “New York Times headline or Something My Ass Wrote” and he lost

meet me at Meijer gas station at 2:15 to exploit the fuel coupon loophole

[filling the coffee maker to 10 so i end up with 5.5 cups] i wish these things didn't all come in fahrenheit