Michelle

Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn in my kitchen told me I'm fine.

I can't afford a tank of gas.
I can't afford groceries.
I can't afford to go to a doctor.
I can't afford daycare.
Unemployment is up.

Trump's economy lost 92,000 jobs in February and inflation rose to 4.4%. Are we winning yet?

If you think that the average Iranian, after nearly fifty years under an authoritarian theocracy is suddenly going to rise up and overthrow their government while you're dropping a billion dollars' worth of ordinance a day on their head...well, you're probably an idiot, Trump, or both.

I can neither confirm nor deny that this is a true story. 😎

I was daydreaming about what we could do with a billion dollars a day that doesn't involve dropping a shit ton of bombs on schoolgirls and other innocent people.

“When in doubt, drag it out”
– advice I give to people dealing with difficult decisions or dead bodies

I'm just sayin'

"No, no, no, see our doomsday religious lunatics are the good guys" - Marco Rubio 🙄

Me: Ok, I'm going to sleep now.
My Brain: Unfortunately, you gotta research why octopuses can dream in color.

Meep Meep!

How about in Minnesota?

There is a greater chance I take a trip to Mars in these yoga pants than actually doing some yoga in them.

There was an attempt to bomb a parked plane. That's some real Wile E. Coyote painting stuff they're doing and it's working.

Artist: Satish Acharya

Burying - Home and Abroad
I hate how accurate this is...a real gut punch.

I always used to wonder why older women were so angry all the time. Now I'm an older woman and I'm like, oh, this is why.

Not whitewashing Bush's legacy so much as comparing it to Trump's legacy that has shit smeared all over it.

Well, imagine that …

The pottery scene from Ghost except it’s just me standing behind the waiter at Olive Garden helping him put Parmesan on my pasta.

"I'm always surrounded by secret service, so it likely won't be me. So, whatever. I don't care." --- Trump

Tony Gonzales drops his bid for reelection...
"Deep reflection with my loving family" is the darkest comedy Onion type shit this multifamily ruiner could unironically produce."

He'd be invincible. God directs all bullets around Saint Barron. If you do get hit it means you're a sinner and God despises you and wants you to suffer. 🙄

Cat: |noun|
Definition - The furry little sociopath that manages your household while still looking innocent.

Me: "I feel good about myself today."
TikTok: "Here are 10 of the skinniest women you'll ever see."

I don't care. I’ll wave at a baby 500 times if they keep waving.

Just a thought, but I think you should live your life so that if you get a rash on your neck millions of people won't hope for your death. ☠️

Another Jan 6er

🤣 #KristiNoem has a new office. 🤣

Does Trump know he doesn't need other people to make him look bad? I mean a criminal, grifting, rapist and pedophile can do that all on their own.

I'm pretty sure Kristi Noem is at home, broken hearted, eating Häagen-Dazs by the gallon, and watching the ending of “Old Yeller” over and over to try to cheer herself up.