PAM!

I need a James Bond one in my cane.

You are a treasure.
Let's bury you.

demonic procession

An absolutely enormous carabiner.

Are you too shy and subtle? Not attracting the kind of ladies you’re looking for? Try wearing one of these.

UMMMM. I DIDN'T SEE A VIDEO....

tried woodwork once, not a joiner

Black and white illustration of a teenage couple, skating.

Teenage boy from the 50s tinkering with a radio.

Black and white illustration of a teenage girl from the 50s talking with her mother.

Black and white illustration of a teenage girl from the 50s talking with her father on an old fashioned couch.

More interior illustrations for When Children Start Dating, 1951. Artist is Janet La Salle.

Some of the descriptions below the illustrations are priceless.

#wardsmorguefile

But a mere overview!

Maaaannnnn the VFW is hoppin' tonight

(gets out cattle prod)

10/10 the best King of the Hill He-man crossover fan fiction yet.

Letting an account I just followed smell my hand before I riff in their replies

Ooooh. Does that WORK!?

What if the world really ended in 2012 and we are all in hell right now?

[dr looking at x-ray]

well, unfortunately… (removes glasses)… it looks like your brain was built on top of an ancient indian burial ground

why are taters the only thing we’ve totted

What’s the point of being outside during the day? It’s so bright. I can barely see my phone.

A MEDICATED WARRIOR IS A LETHAL WARRIOR.

when i was a kid if you wanted to get a mcdonald’s hamburger you had to open the mcdonald’s catalogue, fill in a 13 digit number on an order form, put the form & a check in an envelope, send it away & about 6 to 8 weeks later a hamburger would be delivered right to your house.

Really need some people to come to this! You people all owe me. These skeets are free.

[Hosting guests] welcome, c'mon in!

Drinks in the kitchen, through there; bathroom is down that hall, on the left

Don't open that door, that's the room with the portal in the center that light can't penetrate & the devil's whispers about the worst things you've done drift out like cigarette smoke

just want to carve a cozy little spot for myself inside your skull

don't make it weird

I've been vulnerable before. Zero stars.

Now you see what the bananas see.

I was stabbed in the eye with a banana as a baby and it gave me psychic powers.

MIGHTY EMPHATIC.

Time to find out if I'm dishwasher safe

Kristi Noem and I are the same age which makes it entirely possible that I took her to prom because I have no idea who that gal was. Does anybody really know who I took to prom? I’m being serious right now. I don’t fucking know.

I spent my entire childhood and most of my adult life in survival mode, I'm certainly not gonna spend my time online arguing with strangers. I'm here to be stupid and happy

A bumper sticker on the back of a black Toyota Rav 4 that reads "my other pee pee is a poo poo"

Here's a bumper sticker I saw...

#peepee #poopoo

Be straight with me, Flute Manhawk:

This is your bumper sticker, isn't it?