every shot-on-video, made-with-a-camcorder horror movie that's just some teenage friend group fucking around in the woods with some fake blood and a monster mask contains more artistic merit, human joy and creative light than anything AI has ever made or will ever, ever make
It's easy to picture Scotty from Star Trek down in the boiling room during a wife shower: "She's giving all dat she's got, Cappn!"
Pressurized gaskets poppin' left and right. ☺️
Gotta love Olympic tradition- the passage of the torch, the ceremonial lighting of the flame, the series of articles about condoms running out from journalists seething that super fit people are fucking
Where do you land politically @newjackhandy??
Oh, just a little right of a gay boner.
I’ll never forget the last time my grandpa beat my ass because it was also the first time I heard Return of the Mack
My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains
I have no patience for pomegranates. I don't have time to solve your fruit puzzle.
Iconic scene from The Patriot where the McMillan men are aligned at the urinal before going to Luxembourg.
Business trip, amirite?
The ultimate male privilege is that women miss out on the zesty camaraderie of us lining up side-by-side, genitals-out pissing into a communal trough of fetid urine.
Riding in a driverless Waymo and it’s actually really fun. I am banging on the windows and screaming “help me, you gotta fucking help me” at pedestrians
Fuck your solstice and the ephemeral celestial forces it rode in on!
A doodle made by a r/kitchenconfidential user of zoomed in cut chives, of a crude cartoon couple on the brink of intercourse, their genitalia being chives.
It's day 67 without resolution and the Chive crowd is really trying to make something happen. 😆
Sesame Street taught me to count to twelve, but in the most dramatic way possible
Remember Fox News' stupid "War on Christmas" culture war? I wrote about its origins and how I kinda miss it, considering the hellscape we live in now. thebarbedwire.com/2025/12/11/m...
"Sharia Law in a festive font" utterly destroyed me. 😆
You put the work in on this one BG!
Four men in parkas forcing a furious polar bear into a cage.
“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”
A fear I have is finding a cool t-shirt in kohls
Image of Rob Corddry in character as Dr. Blake Downs in the television program Children's Hospital, looking skeptical in his signature clown makeup, and blood-soaked heart icon on the chest of his scrubs, posing with hands tucked presumably into the chest cavity of a patient, just below frame.
If Gary Larson is back that means Bill Watterson is going to come back. Light is gonna reenter the world like when Gandalf showed up with new clothes.
Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse, assail him, and veil him, with monster truck force!
a car tire with a guitar strapped to it, along with a hat, wig, and sunglasses arranged to resemble the famous guitarist Slash
oh my god someone slashed our tire
Image of @dasharezone's t-shirt: "there are no good billionaires".
This reminds me that's it's time to go buy another one of these, since my old one is threadbare.
Oh, she can try to top "Giving the Dog a Bone" all she wants, but it can't be done...
And then eat it... That's how good the volcano chicken is.
It just goes to show you: we start our lives thinking about what's really important... all the other bullshit piles up later.
This one is really good.
Are you looking for Big Farma?
Opinion | Some say that Andrew Cuomo's defeat in the primary shows that the Democratic establishment has become weak. But I say that the fact that an unpopular disgraced sixty-seven year-old sex offender was able to win 37% of the vote shows that the Democratic establishment is still very strong.
That'll keep him at bay until he's about 12.
