Stone

I snuck oatmeal cookies into the theater

👀 respect

I like oatmeal & raisin cookies and I don’t care who knows it.
I won’t hide any longer.

feels like cybertruck sightings have plummeted recently. the roads are healing

Lately, it’s starting to feel a lot like Skynet.

Why didn’t the Dems call @isaiahrmartin.bsky.social to slap the rebuttal down on this b**tch?

I keep reminding myself that these rage baiting MAGAt accounts are just trolls hunting for engagement, but GODDAMN it’s hard to not use my phone like a flamethrower.

DETECTIVE: we need to question the suspect so i'll be bad cop and you be good cop

OTHER DETECTIVE: what's a good cop

a man with a green mask is looking at himself in a mirror with the words it 's party time written on it ALT: a man with a green mask is looking at himself in a mirror with the words it 's party time written on it

😆😎

Have pity on my back and knees with your glorious noise.

you can't make me live más

Never have Dads That Peaked In High School and Dads That Were Picked On In High School united in such a powerful team as Olympic Curling.

These Curlers are pissed at Canada.
They gonna open their mouths and get a whole episode of Letterkenny dropped on their ass!

Figure skating would be so much better with unmarked areas of thin ice

Watching US Hockey waiting for Gordon Bombay to call the Flying V…

Women’s Halfpipe brought to you by EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.

Big brother can help you find your dog

What’s up with the gridiron glamour shots after every commercial?

They booked the band that wrote American Idiot during the BUSH administration to play pre-game at the Superbowl.
I’m gonna need more popcorn. 😎

Now you have my attention…

After this new Epstein files drop, can I please never hear about the “genius” of Woody Allen again?

The abyss called. That's enough. With all the yelling.

I wonder how those stripper cages he had on stage would play with the Turning Point crowd?

I guess if the girls are young enough the pedos won’t care. 🤷‍♂️

It's like I've always said, rapists hate whistles.

Nothing but silence from all the ammosexuals wandering through Targets and Subways with fists full of AR-15s this weekend.

Elephant cucks.
Primary all of them.

Hey kids, remember Joke Twitter? 😎

Having a puff and scrolling through those weird AI videos that Snoop Dogg posts. Pretty soon, it started to feel like a challenge…

When I woke up I couldn’t remember my name for a week.

text reeds: “Winter Weather Advisory: It’s winter, there’s some weather outside. Please be advised.

Heads up. ❄️

let's talk about sticks baby
let's break em right off a tree
let's talk albout all the throwing
and the fetching that could be