MykeIsNoWHere

I'm getting sick and tired of Biden raising the prices of everything, even gas.

I'm going to keep misbehaving until someone puts me in time out

It’s not depression if I’m at my happiest while staying in bed.

I had motivation like 30 minutes ago for like ten minutes. Good but strange.
Back to work!

Bro is holding these truths to be self evident 🤣

I should start carrying a chapstick for my ears and one for my nose.

I believe in you, squid tits!

“Good news!” he happily declared, clearly in the middle of a psychotic break.

people love to say "you should read conservative opinion pieces too" and every conservative opinion piece is like "corporations should have the right to vote but minorities shouldn't. source: I made it up"

I had almost 3 thousand followers on X and I only miss 2.

DHS's Office of Industry Partnership was hacked by a group called "Department of Peace" and info about ICE contracts with over 6,000 companies is now published on @ddosecrets.org!

Enjoy 🧊🔨 ddosecrets.org/article/ice-...

it’s almost as if that fifa peace prize didn’t mean anything at all

Maybe I’ll just learn to roller skate real good

oh, nope. going back to bed

There should be a word for the pain of knowing you saw a band long before you loved them

Prescription goose honk cancelling headphones

I’m willing to do my part for the war and by that I mean plant a victory garden of high-quality marijuana

The Dept. of War posting: OPERATION EPIC FURY

OPERATION MY DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME

My fav radio show is In the Key of Neil. So sad to hear of Mr. Sedaka’s passing.

RIP NEIL SEDAKA

Shocked at poor turnout for my 20th century poetry class and its promise to "take you to Ezra Poundtown."

ghosting or posting for ghosts

The percentage of people who just don't want to be best friends is so close to 100 you could hear two special little bracelets I made drop

Hang on, just whipping up another miracle

I tried on my swim shorts from last year and I’m not going to swim anymore I guess

I went out to feed the birds in what I can only describe as the most Lady Feeding the Birds at 7:30am outfit I own and there were a bunch of guys from the power company in my backyard. Mornin’, fellas.

Om,

no.

The nice thing about being unemployed is I don’t have to worry about my work wife getting upset with me.

drawing a map of the still firing neural pathways in my brain with a box of 8 pack jumbo crayons because this should not take too long