George Smith

Added my contribution to the doll house.

Not employed by EA, but EA is still the publisher of SWTOR.

Is watashi really that feminine? In Japanese class they always said only to use watashi as the safest, most neutral one.

A wise man once said regarding task management software: "If ain't in my bucket, fuck it."

What will the next LinkedIn hustle be?

Everyone needs to know how easy it is to find people's houses through property records. If you own a house, your address is public information.

I've looked up everyone I know and even known celebrities. Easy, found them all. I don't even think it's creepy because it's so easy.

Looks like they forgot to specify tap water when they ordered.

Divorced wife guy thinks his ex really picked a winner of a new boyfriend.

Think kiss cam and the like at big events will be told to avoid the expensive seats from now on?

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

They're against no fault divorce so they have to be sure they spell out the reasons.

Getting something stupid wrong on purpose and having people get mad at you for it is one of life's greatest pleasures.

A haiku:
Eyes glazed over
Chuckle on cue with laugh track
He said bazinga

Babe! All the guys down at the Bing have one!

Guy trying to convince his wife to let him have a goomar after watching The Sopranos.

I was visualizing walking through a house I used to live in, but I must not have gone into my parent's room a lot because I couldn't remember it. I found myself just substituting their room from another house and it just seemed like it was always there.

I also never reply to a confirm your appointment text. I’m not at their beck and call.

I never fill out forms before.

You never admit the existence of this thing!

Problem is now sports betting is so mainstream they don't need the supple flesh of a streaker to advertise anymore.

Moving to Europe to become a full time streaker

Running across soccer fields with a betting website written on my gut

This website totally crippled my computer, had to hard reboot, and then close the tab before it started to load again.

Completely cursed.

You're not selling me on it. Is it just not good?

Greek yogurt is foul, it's too thick.

I was at an airport with a smoker. You had to go outside of security to smoke. He was willing go and wait in line rather than whatever the smoking equivalent of holding it is.
I know there's a chemical addiction element, but I knew then I never wanted something to have so much control over me.

Throwing an absolute shitfit at the pharmacy, writhing on the ground, sobbing, shouting "I want Wegovy" but in a baby voice so it comes out more like wegoby.

Ohh, he's been flavor blasted!

Why are chess handshakes so weak? They barely squeeze, it's more of a rub in passing.

I'll be honest.

First time I got one of those, it scared me a little, especially since I think it dodged my spam folder.