David Gonzalez

Men only want one thing, and it’s to watch a manager and an umpire yell at each on an endless scroll.

Holy hell did the Cavs invent a 4-pointer? How did this happen?

Once, I saw deer—three deer, to be precise—on the hills alongside the 134. Every day since, I’ve looked for them. They are my ducks in the pool.

4 yr old: Dada! We saw the Minecraft movie! It was soo good.
Me: Yeah? You liked it?
4 yr old: No.

Anybody have a copy of that Val Kilmer profile that Chuck Klosterman wrote for Esquire?

A quarter of the way through the year and my fav books so far are: Ursula LeGuin’s Tombs of Atuan, The Farthest Shore & Left Hand of Darkness, Kevin Barry’s The Heart in Winter, and Kate DiCamillo’s Hotel Balzaar (w/the kiddos). Honorable mentions: Bullet Swallower and Saint of the Narrows Street.

Would you look at that! A walk off win for the Fish!

Lemme tell you, I love being a Marlins fan that gets to root for the Dodgers.

My new dentist office has a Ms. Pac Man tabletop, an Ed Ruscha reproduction and a bunch of back issues of McSweeney’s.

Not sure how I’m supposed to feel about the totems of my youth transmogrifying into waiting room detritus.

omg…it’s raiNINNGGG!!

I showed the girls part one of Who Shot Mr Burns. 8yo thinks it was Smithers. 4yo thinks it was Homer. We’re about to watch part two.

Went to meet a friend for drinks but my stomach was in shambles. He suggested I drink a shot of Underberg. Have you have heard of Underberg? Oh my god. Miracle drug.

Pretty great ngl

Last night I played pickleball at a private court in a secret warehouse that required a code to get in. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to a sex dungeon.

Online speculation!

I don’t know what fresh hell awaits my kiddos but I really hope they get their own version of David Lynch, a true artist who for forty years helps steer them towards a clearer version of themselves.

I think I could benefit from TM.

Maybe it’s time I try TM.

Believe it or not the only David Lynch movie I haven’t seen is Eraserhead.

Me: You know that meme where David Lynch is like, I’ve just had a Coke and two cookies! Phenomenal!

Of course I love his films. But his recognition of that particular delight connects me deeply to that man.

Interviewer: Would you care to elaborate?

Me: No.

As if LA wasn’t sufficiently in mourning. #DavidLynch

Back home. The floorboards beneath our feet carry an entirely different meaning.

Paid a visit to The Book Catapult in San Diego. Told the girls that we—me included—are only allowed to buy one book. We walked out with seven.

Has anyone checked in on the Americana at Brand Memes guy?

On the beach in San Diego and the 8yo is dancing with clams like they’re castanets. Weird to find levity amidst so much angst and heartache.

Never went to the Bunny Museum, never went to Side Pie. All these charming idiosyncratic spots in Altadena gone now. To say nothing of homes and schools. The scale of loss is impossible to comprehend.

This may sound crazy but during times like this I wish I was a firefighter.

Wow.

Sure is windy.

Can you love Bob Dylan and hate the harmonica? Is that even possible?

I have a refrain that I’ve shared with friends in years past, and I’ll share it with you now.

Last year, you did great. Next year, you’ll do even better.