Leslie Gaar

I voted for Crockett, I’ll vote for Talarico. Let’s flip this bitch.

“I- I will take that down.”

For all their bluster and posturing, these people are cowards. Never forget that.

"Thanks for inviting me to your party. I liked all the parts except for the part where your cat bit me."

-8-year-old at my daughter's birthday party

Can’t wait for tonight’s state of the union so we can hear how the economy has improved by eleventy billion percent, the word ‘beef’ is legal again, and U.S. men are now perpetually erect.

Every time.

Now that the Supreme Court handed Trump his ass over tariffs, he’s gonna announce an investigation into the whereabouts of Bigfoot.

I hope more than a few rich and powerful men are absolutely shitting their pants this morning.

Before I like a post, I check to see if a man wrote it because the last thing they need is more encouragement.

This troll commented “lol ur like 45 years old” on one of my posts, and I was like, “and you’re…really good at guessing ages- what’s your point?”

Bondi will get an extra scratch behind the scales tonight for defending her overlord so fiercely.

In Order to Stop the Radical Democrats from Rigging the Election, We Will Be Rigging the Election “President Trump called in a new interview for the Republican Party to ‘nationalize’ voting in the United States, an aggressive rhetorical step tha...

"If you have nothing to hide, why would you be afraid of an unaccountable, violent paramilitary force asking for your papers at the polls?"

Pam Bondi is a horcrux.

The best part of Bad Bunny’s performance was when he gave bigots a little geography lesson by listing all the countries that make up America.

JD Vance: [cracks open a can of Chef Boyardee] I love eating like a local!

I’ll bet this latest racist thing will be the last straw for the racists who voted for an open racist who successfully campaigned on racism.

Shout out to all the nice people who shared MLK quotes on Facebook last month and will brush off their president’s racist post this month.

With all these student walkouts and a Minecraft-themed ass beating of a mediocre man, I don’t ever want to hear how soft this generation is again.

Well this batch of billionaires and wellness influencers turned out to be morally depraved but I bet the next one will be just fine.

The main way you can tell we live in a free country is our leaders arrest journalists they don’t like and execute protestors in the streets.

The main way you can tell we live in a free country is that people who break a car’s taillight are publicly executed.

Hey Minnesota, don’t take Bovino’s word that he’s leaving the state. Check the bottom of your shoes and make sure he’s really gone.

Oh no do you think it’s ‘cause they figured out he’s not large

It is a truth universally acknowledged that ICE are a bunch of goose-stepping cowardly little bitches.

They say they’re against the boot on their neck until someone lets them be the boot.

Government so small they can execute you in the street.

And Jesus said, “let the little children come to me, so I might use them as bait and scapegoat their parents.”

No one prepares you for reaching an age where doing basic exercise is considered "inspirational.”

[Movie announcer voice]

She’s coming for you. And no one will be left behind.

Coulda told us all about his Lucky Charms, decided to become a fascist.

My daughter presented me with her spelling bee trophy today for the work I have done, so I’m officially the best speller in the 5th grade. Stoopendous!