Chadywak

His mom really wanted to name him Leon, but she has dyslexia

And then Jesus said unto them, "I will only return if you start a huge war"

Hold up...I thought Diana Ross was the Supreme Leader?

Looks like the Board of Peace got bored of peace.

[Levis HQ]

BOSS: we need a new style of jeans

ME: *high and wasted* my time has come

i like
big butts
and i plead the fifth

You gotta to know when to hold her. Know when to fold her.

Now I have to take her to the chiropractor.

some of my skeets would be absolute bangers if all of you were as high as I was when I posted them
I just know it

An ICE hockey game, but with protesters vs. ICE agents.

7up is short for upupupupupupup

No Sauna For Old Men

FRENCH GUY: do you speak french

ME: no

FRENCH GUY: ah well c'est la vie

ME: la vie

[asphyxiating on toxic atmosphere as the last tree on earth drops its final leaf] save me Dow Jones

*pees*

*crawls into bed*

*spends half an hour winding down*

*is about to fall asleep*

*has to pee again*

ME: it’s not delivery it’s digiorno

HOSPITAL NURSE: um ok let’s get your wife to the digiorno room

Kid Rock was lip syncing like some kind of Hillbilli Vanilli

As a man, I believe we should only freak when froken to.

american cheese is just like regular cheese but it owns a gun

the only thing that can stop Mr Beast at this point is (eyes narrow) Mr Bwest

People think I'm clairvoyant, but the truth is, I'm just really, really farsighted

Weed is fiber, right? If so, then me too.

I bet those MAGA dads can't wait to tell their kids they are seeing Kid Rock's Halftime Show at their next supervised visitation.

felt cute, might get in a death cab later.

Someone said Kid Rock is just a trashier name for Epstein Island, and now I can't think of it any other way.

I'm so poor that when I showed up at the bank, their broke alarm went off.

please👏do👏not👏wear👏a👏hoodie👏if👏you👏aren't👏committed👏to👏making👏the👏hoodie👏strings👏the👏same👏length👏

*looking at the Mona Lisa* there is no way a turtle painted this

knew i shouldve trusted my
nsyncs and said bye bye bye

Gay Groundhog Day, but Phil gets six more weeks of weiner.

Groundhog Day is actually based on a Christian story of when Jesus walked out of his tomb, saw his shadow, and we had 2000 more years of war.