One of my biggest struggles in life is that I actually do have quite a large and strong personality, so when it comes to media about people crumbling under the weight of expectation or wishing they were different I’m always just like…don’t be like that? Or just do what you want? I can’t relate 😕

Rare to see a movie where the voices of women matter so much while the voices of white women do not matter even a little bit

I believe Spielberg’s version of West Side Story is one of the best movies ever made.

Today I hosted a couple of episodes of my company podcast and I feel pretty good about how I did in that studio. Can’t wait to see the edits.

“As mentioned before, I love you.”
-me, sending a regular for me, entirely unhinged voicemail

Man behind the counter asked what I got, I said fries. He said “you could’ve told me” and then headed me my order. No bro, it’s literally your job to tell ME!

One day I will remember not to come to the grilled cheese place where it takes 20 minutes to get a side of fries.

My friend’s hot brother who I have hung out with maybe 5 times in 10 years has just gotten engaged. Please respect my privacy in this trying time.

A stranger called me gorgeous on TikTok last night, so you really can't tell me anything for the next week or so

I bring a sort of "excited to take on the day" energy to 8:30 and 9:00am calls that my coworkers clearly don't enjoy

Live-streamed said “time to bring out the wiggle cat!” And you know what he did? He put a wiggling cat on the screen.

We’re having an empty calorie kind of night at my place! Hard cider and frozen Mac & cheese!

Today for the first time I said to myself “I’d like a Diet Coke!” And reader, I got it.

Thanks folks, I’ll be here all week!

I much prefer a poorly told story with a ham-handed moral message than anything with no point of view no matter how technically magnificent

The other day someone said to me that they thought PETA was a psyop by Big Meat to make animals rights lovers look crazy and that is an insane theory but it’s also pretty believable

I’ve always said this

I’m so incredibly sick they gave me steroids so now I’m feeling amazing from the steroids and now stir-crazy because I can’t go out in public with this amazing energy because of the aforementioned incredible sickness

This Cracker Barrel thing is so weird. Since when was it a capital crime to have a bad logo?

I’m down 15 lbs from last year. That feels good. 50 more to go!

It smells like natural gas inside of this urgent care

I went to my best friend’s wedding a few years ago and my favorite part was how her dad did not remember me at first but then after he did, he proceeded to tell me and everyone around about how my friend once had a crush on me and then listed every other person there she’d once had a crush on.

It’s really cool to come online after a long day and see that places like IGN are reposting the trailer you published this morning

They should invent a place in the office where you can brush your teeth separate from people blowing ass steps away

Maybe I’m crazy but I don’t feel like Mexican Coke tastes different enough from standard US Coke to justify the cost difference

They’re doing some pretty horrible things with food textures in Asia and I can appreciate it

One post-pandemic thing I’ve noticed is that many of the cat toy makers have dropped down to a much smaller, lower quality of sisal rope in scratcher, which my cat has made very clear she does not accept :/

I’d been telling myself I’m sad to have missed the boat on being stupid over a Brooklyn boy until I realized today that the guy I’ve been DMing for years because he was down to hook up one time is absolutely the Brooklyn boy I was searching for. ✅

Pro-tip: if you eat 3 lbs of watermelon in a day, you’re going to have some otherworldly poops

I hope whatever man I end up with is as obsessed with his friends as I am because I’m not about to sit at home every night looking at you. I got people to see and a life to live!