I have so many Donna Summer songs on my MP3 player that if I dropped dead tomorrow people will think I lead a double life
01.12.2025 17:02
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I get all of my news from 2019
25.11.2025 10:08
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Uh oh we got a guy here that cares about how other people measure things
21.11.2025 20:45
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Nothing I just don't come here all that often
20.11.2025 22:31
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It's 108 miles to Chicago, I got a full tank of gas, a half pack of cigarettes, it's cloudy, and I'm wearing sunglasses
20.11.2025 22:30
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Left handed people should be put in jail
18.11.2025 10:07
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I'm 100% open to being bribed to use my social media accounts to help spread disinformation
16.11.2025 21:48
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Tell me this isn't an album cover
07.11.2025 16:51
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Happy Halloween. Don't forget to feed your snakes before you go stand around in a graveyard all night
31.10.2025 15:19
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@bobjanke.bsky.social
So great to finally see you here!
30.10.2025 21:06
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My friend Michelle is still responding that she's going to every event on Facebook like she isn't 43 years old. Nobody believes you're going to see a Sepultura tribute band on a Wednesday
31.10.2025 12:10
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We need turquoise jewelry to make a come back. That's how you knew who to hit on
30.10.2025 19:51
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Since the government shut down a month ago I've made $1800 buying beer for teenagers and keeping the change
29.10.2025 22:14
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[Doing that trick where it looks like my thumb is coming apart and blood starts spraying everywhere]: OH NO I DID IT WRONG
28.10.2025 19:56
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MAMA MIA!
13.10.2025 20:28
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Tomorrow is going to suck taking down all of these Christopher Columbus decorations
13.10.2025 20:14
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I just bought Bluesky with a $10 Harbor Freight Money coupon and three stretched out paper clips
07.10.2025 15:09
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Are you sure. I just want to be sure
10.09.2025 20:24
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the jerk store called they're running out of paprika
10.09.2025 19:11
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First that guy steals a hat from that kid. Then the lady takes that baseball. It could just me but maybe little kids need to be tougher.
06.09.2025 21:18
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I'd ask you for some recommendations but it obviously isn't working
06.09.2025 15:44
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Well, I'm glad somebody is getting their news from early March
06.09.2025 15:43
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Just so you know, you're the last person on Earth that's still talking about that
06.09.2025 15:36
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I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me
04.09.2025 23:21
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Yes I heard your horn the first time a split second after the light turned green. Why do you think I'm typing this.
27.08.2025 21:19
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Sydney Sweeney is in my driveway trashing my car with a baseball bat boy were you guys right about her
20.08.2025 18:56
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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice shame on me Fool me a third time hey this is a pretty good scam can i get in on this
13.08.2025 20:20
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I know Jesus was a carpenter but I think he would've been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing
11.08.2025 21:30
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Tell me about it
11.08.2025 11:54
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My weight loss goal is to have an old man pelvis so it looks like my legs go straight up into my back
10.08.2025 19:55
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