Pete Taphouse

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

A headline from Sophia Money-Coutts which reads I shit you not, 'Being posh should be a protected characteristic'

Fabulous 10/10 no notes

We've spent ten years being proved right about all the things the loudest, biggest voices in the UK media insisted, often obnoxiously, we were wrong about. The real kicker is that there's no consolation whatsoever in being correct. Brexit, Putin, Johnson, Truss, Trump, Twitter, Netanyahu etc etc...

Doing this challenge called “January” where I try to make it through the whole month of January

under a 1769 act of parliament, it is technically ‘illegal’ for someone to die between recording an appearance on hootenanny and its broadcast

Uh… check out what ChatGPT allegedly told a man before he killed his mother and then himself.

storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

We have so much good evidence for cash transfers but so many just refuse to accept that those in poverty can make good decisions.

Do you know how difficult it is to have views on race so fucking weird they stand out even in the context of a conversation with Nick Fuentes?

Again,

Body: I can't physically eat any more.

Brain: THERE'S STILL CHEESE LEFT, PUSSY!

Body: But I hurt. The pain!

Brain: EAT MORE CHOCOLATE NOW!

Body: *cries*

Brain: WASH IT DOWN WITH A PINT OF BAILEYS.

Body: I’m begging you. Please stop.

Body: SNORT THAT PURPLE QUALITY STREET, BITCH.

They used to "laugh and call him names." Now they're all dead

Peanut worm and boring peanut worm

That peanut worm is a little too exciting for me you got anything else?

Bridget the cat infiltrates the 'Abbey Road' cover shoot and becomes THE definitive fifth Beatle.

THREAD.

My parents' cat Bridget vanished. As the weeks dragged on they became ever more worried, so to distract himself my dad began to paint Bridget's adventures, imagining her travelling through time and popping up at some of art & music's most important moments.

I've collected his work here...

CBS: NEWS THE WHITE HOUSE CAN TRUST

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The 'up to eleven' scene from Spinal Tap, but instead of a speaker Nigel Tufnel is talking about, it's the man with 6 fingers on one hand from The Princess Bride holding up both of his hands.

"if we need that extra push over the cliffs of insanity"

CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year

CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year
theonion.com/cia-realizes...

Photo of a series of upper parts of buildings and chimneys, all close together and looking layered. In the distance is the golden sunset-lit tower of York Minster, echoed in the foreground by a church window. The sky is blue.

Down the right alley, from the right angle, York rewards you with collaged history.

Screenshot from the Zoom of Princess Bride

Rob Reiner directed my favorite movie in the world, and then made all my dreams come true by, with Cary Elwes, organizing a cast reunion table read Zoom fundraiser for WisDems. A heart, spirit, and talent bigger than the whole world. May his and Michele's memory be a blessing.

I know someone who went in as a visitor a few months ago who was asked if they voted for Brexit and if they are a Christian.

Currently thinking I have made my last trip to America.

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

A post from ViperThreat: Worked as an on-call computer tech for about a year, and I've seen some weird shit. Plenty of Hoarders, elderly men with interesting sexual fantasies, Multimillonaire Lawyers with closets full of gay porn, etc. The weirdest one was this cool old dude who had retired and lived in a double-wide trailer in a fairly nice retirement trailer park. His house had one of those trains that traveled along the walls from room to room, occasionally poking through walls and such. The primary purpose of this train was to carry his bird (a blue macaw IIRC) around the house. From his explanation, the bird had some birth defects and had difficulty flying, so they built the train for the bird to cruise around the house on. This may not sound all that weird to you, but let me set the stage for you: You're a college student removing a stupid browser hijack from some old guy's computer. You're nearly done with the job when you hear a clacking sound and look up to see a toy train crossing your vision. Aboard the train is a decently sized bird that makes eye contact with you and says "choo choo motherfucker" before disappearing into the next room. One of the most surreal moments of my life.

Get a load of this. 😆

I propose a solution to our ongoing RAM shortage:

Photo of a magic 8 ball with a 'goatse' version of the OpenAI logo and the words ChatGPT on it, next to a white box that says "ChatGPT offline version". Inset are photos of the 8-ball responses such as "That's a great question", "You're 1000% right" and "Too many requests try again later" and then another photo from the back of the box of a holographic authenticity sticker that says FAKE.

After much research and development I have made an offline version of ChatGPT.

Now you can save water and electricity while navel-gazing, and carry one of the world's most powerfully annoying AI chatbots in your pocket.

the coop has thrown down the gauntlet and all other shops are cowards until they respond

I wanted to buy a tubular scarf off Vinted but it came with a frilly Elizabethan collar and the seller wouldn't split them. Still, I suppose you have to take the ruff with the snood.

LONDON (AP) — Buckingham Palace says King Charles III will strip Prince Andrew of remaining titles including “Andrew”, curse him to wander the Earth as “the nameless one”

does he become….symbol…?

Politico: "MPs should consider deleting X, according to a committee led by Commons Speaker Lindsay Hoyle...

"On social media, the report said MPs should feel “empowered to step away from platforms that pose more harm than benefit.”

Absolutely. Please get on with it.