Omnibus Out of Context

It’s incredible to think that our fantasizing fur burglar is somehow at the core of Nazism.

You have to grit your teeth and say, “No, I love when my taxes go up.”

A lot of these crimes seem like they were thought up by a 10-year-old.

It’s an Omnibus episode. It has to mention Adolf Hitler.

Did you know there are people whose names are neither Thomas nor Philip? There’s a third category now. New kind of person just dropped. Not a Thomas. Not a Phillip.

Always impulse buy everything.

I’m being introduced to millennial culture from within the minds of millennials, which is a thing I studiously avoided knowing anything about for two decades. Really didn’t want to know. Keep it to yourselves.

Futurlings are 100% a sincere group of people. There’s no goofing around of any kind.

The way we’re communicating now is not going to be the way we communicate in a decade.

Erin: We will get to Crank Yankers eventually — which combines celebrity with puppetry and pranking, which is okay. I remember discovering Ween from that show.

John: Sure. Arguably their entire career was a prank, but yeah.

I’m someone whose lizard brain dictates that their happiness is on a one-to-one ratio with how much sun I’m getting.

We all have a right to sorrow.

So I showed up, flew in from Seattle, had a cold, and then walked out on stage like “I’ve never seen a piano before.”

I need to slice this soy roast beef either way. What do I care?

I’m putting a blue check mark on everything that comes in the door — and it’s not one you can buy.

Is it anonymous because he is so irritating that if people knew who he was that he would be in danger?

There are some tight spaces between Halifax and Vancouver.

Why should they have to follow the law or believe in antiquated concepts like democracy?

I’m not the type of person that’s going to accuse somebody of being Scandinavian.

Not every crazy Russian with a beard is a Rasputin figure.

I certainly lick the tears of my enemies.

You look a little like a Hanna-Barbera character.

You‘re a thinker. You’re in your ivory tower. You‘re trying to save America.

Lines of trees over dirt: that’s what the French love.

This place is freezing, but it’s our freezing.

It’s rewarding until they get to 14 and a half and they tell you you’re dumb every minute of the day and roll their eyes at you. If she could kill me by rolling her eyes, I would be long in the grave.

You do have to remember that a certain percentage of Futurelings are extremely literal.

San Francisco’s one of the great fart-sniffing cities in the world.

I’ll just pause here, because I believe firmly that we need more Chubs in modern discourse.