High Quality Rubbish

What if your name was Luke Warm

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. Caption, written in would-be “extreme” graffiti-style lettering: EXTREME DOUGHNUTS. We see two examples: a doughnut with a hole so big it’s basically a hula hoop; and then the opposite, a doughnut where the hole is so tiny there’s just a puckered-up balloon-knot looking thing in its centre

Whiteboard Wednesday! Push it to the limit

Pivot Cat *always* lightens my mood! I'm going to have this video projected onto my coffin at my funeral, as I slither down the conveyor belt into the flames of annihilation

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. Caption: CAT LOGISTICS. A cat stretches lazily on its bed before most likely going back to sleep. It thinks, “Ehhhh… no plans”

₍^. .^₎hiteboard ₍^. .^₎ednesday

What if you opened a vegetarian restaurant but then served your customers meat dishes just to troll them

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. There’s a line of vacuum cleaners called Henry which have fun faces on them; we see one of these models sitting in a storage cupboard. Suddenly Henry’s eye starts to glow red; a computer readout says, “ASSASSIN MODE ACTIVATED”. Caption: “HENRY HOOVER - SLEEPER AGENT”

Whiteboard Wednesday! For the uninitiated, Henry is a line of vacuum cleaners here in the U.K; part of the branding is that they all have fun Thomas The Tank Engine-style faces on them. This cheeky smile would be the last thing you'd see just before your brain got sucked out through your ear canal

The display on an air fryer saying, “COOL”

Awww, thanks

It’s Friday the 13th! Watch out for Freddy Krueger!

A cartoon sketch drawn on a whiteboard in marker pen. A small dog is high up in the branches of a tree, barking: “BUH, BUH RUHR RUHR RUHR”. A man on the ground looks up at the dog with concern and points at a neighbouring tree. Caption: BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE

Whiteboard Wednesday! I remember doing a similar wordplay-based comic in the past and getting the reaction, “huh, OK, dad joke”. Let me tell you something: I actually *am* your dad, ask your mum

Why are they called miniguns, they’re massive

A photo of a gaudy white motorbike parked up in an underground parking garage. The front wheel of the bike is sitting on top of a little stick-figure man painted in white paint on the floor.

Tiny man killed by motorised urinal

A two-panel comic drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. Panel 1: A social event at an art gallery with drinks etc. Caption: “If you ever say something you immediately regret…” A friendly-looking man wearing a bow tie and holding a wine glass talks to the woman next to him. The man has noticed the woman has a rounder-than-usual midriff: “So! When’s the baby due?” Woman: “I’m… not pregnant” Panel 2: Caption: “…try inhaling sharply to suck the hurtful words back into your mouth”. The man now has his mouth agape and indeed is inhaling sharply - his “when’s the baby due?” speech balloon from the first panel is vanishing back into his mouth like smoke being sucked up into an industrial vacuum cleaner. The woman beams and gives a “mission accomplished” thumbs up.

Whiteboard Wednesday! This really works, just Kirby it all up

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. This one is in two parts: Part 1: Caption: “A gritty crime game made by a western studio” - 1980s Miami: palm trees, Hawaiian shirts, gull wing sports cars, beachfront property. The main character runs rather stiffly down the centre of the road. A police helicopter hovers behind him. Part 2: Caption: “A gritty crime game made by a Japanese studio”. The main character has his manly chest out and holds a giant traffic cone above his head, ready to strike the cowering adversary at his feet. Our hero roars in defiance, summoning forth a literal flaming dragon. A secondary character pops up out of a nearby manhole with a cheeky grin on his face. A little cat mascot acts as judge at the lower corner of the drawing: “JAPAN WINS!”

Whiteboard Wednesday!

The best part of working remotely is that no-one can challenge you to a fight

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. A shopkeeper gestures impatiently at the extensive selection of pies on display. Caption: "Lack of pies? PACK OF LIES"

Mid-Week Marker Pe… nah, let's stick with Whiteboard Wednesday

Image 01: A closeup photo of a familiar-looking lumpy puddle, part semi-transparent beige liquid, part chunks of carrot, potato etc. Caption: "SICK.."

Image 02: Caption: "..OF SPILLING MY BIG SOUP" - the camera pulls back to a wider view, and we see the puddle is a spill from a dropped tin of Heinz Big Soup.

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. A potato has udder teats and is spraying jets of milk everywhere. Caption: "WILL YOU ACCEPT A MILKY BLAST FROM... THE LACTATO"

The endless font of "creativity" that is Whiteboard Wednesday

Oof, they're right here, too:

@mennonitesusa.bsky.social

Better keep my "Randy Quaid in Kingpin" comments to myself

You'd never get cancelled for posting rude things about the Amish community, because how are they ever going to read it

A series of screengrabs from an old martial arts film. The onscreen hard of hearing subtitles are transcribing the film’s audio - every single punch and kick is accompanied by a subtitle saying “punching thump” or “kicking thump”

Watching a martial arts film… the person doing the hard of hearing subtitles is *very* committed to their job

I can't believe there isn't a scene in the Friday The 13th films where Jason stumbles onto an ice hockey rink in the middle of a game

I mean, come on, it's a golden opportunity just sitting there in plain sight

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. A man spends his evening sitting on the sofa eating cereal and staring glassy-eyed at the TV. Caption: "OPT FOR A QUIET NIGHT IN / END UP WATCHING A COMPILATION VIDEO OF ALL RESIDENT EVIL DEATH SCENES"

Whiteboard Tuesd... just mucking about, Wednesday

Boxes of broken biscuits on a supermarket shelf. The text on each box proudly boasts, “25 Years Of Quality Broken Biscuits”

Encountered some real-life high quality rubbish! 😍

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. A middle-aged man looks around anxiously as he’s encircled by family members - elderly relatives loom in through every available doorway, children bawl at his feet, etc. Caption: “FAMILY…LIKE BEING HAUNTED BY THE LIVING”

Whiteboard Wednesday! Remember, when the onslaught of awkward relatives invading your home becomes completely too much, you can always lock yourself in the toilet

A photo of a sign by the side of the road: “Cats Eyes Removed”

Niche service

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. A seasonal snowy winter landscape: Santa is pulling an oversized Christmas pudding behind him on a sledge. Caption: PULL YOUR PUDDING

Whiteboard Wednesday! Season's greetings, everyo... wait, what am I doing, I'm a barbarian heathen

Hullo Benny, good to see you over here!

A five-panel comic drawn in a cartoon style. ==Panel 01 Narrator: "You know what's fun? When someone at the office party turns out to be an unexpectedly good dancer --" A standard-issue end-of-year workplace party. A handful of people are on the dancefloor exhibiting varying levels of enthusiasm. Enter our hero, a stout, bespectacled, unremarkable-looking man. He steps on to the dancefloor. =Panel 02 Our hero begins to dance, doing a lively little shuffle step, unnoticed by the rest of the partygoers. =Panel 03 Our hero kicks it up a notch - now he's performing spins and pivots and striking poses. His antics begin to attract the attention of the crowd around the perimeter of the dancefloor. =Panel 04 Now our hero is really raising the roof, busting out wild, confident moves that dominant the dancefloor. The party goes wild - cheering, clapping, champagne corks popping, confetti falling from the ceiling, etc. =Panel 05 Later: our hero is standing at the bar next to another partygoer, a woman who is possibly drunk and possibly flirting. Woman: "Soooo… where'd you learn those amazing moves?" Our hero points to an app on his phone: "I have them all here on a spreadsheet" Text below the comic says HIGH QUALITY RUBBISH and CAP, denoting the comic series' name and author.

New comic! Bluesky only lets you post a slideshow containing *four* slides, so you're getting this one as a single giant long image, sorry 😅

When life gives you lemons, it’s lemons for dinner I suppose

A cartoon sketch drawn in marker pen on a whiteboard. A chicken gapes in astonishment as an enormous hole opens up in its hindquarters and a Christmas cracker shoots out. Caption: CLOACA CRACKER

Whiteboard Wednesday! After I drew this, I found out to my dismay that there are *two* accepted pronunciations of "Cloaca": Clo-Akka and Clo-Acre. For the record, my friends and I have only ever used the Clo-Akka pronunciation during our extensive discussions on chicken openings.