johnperson

The Mario 64 intro scene with a letter from Princess Peach, reading: Dear Mario. Please come to the castle. I'm down bad. Yours truly-- Princess Toadstool (Peach)

CATS from the video game Zero Wing (the All Your Base Are Belong To Us game), saying: "I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is Futile"

Dracula from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, saying to Richter "Get out of my house"

The transportation advisor from SimCity 2000, saying "YOU CAN'T STAY ON TWITTER! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!"

My big project: The Death Generator.
It's a tool for making fake video game screenshots, just fill in new text and it'll give you a (generally) pixel-accurate image back, the correct fonts and everything.

deathgenerator.com

the internet: a heaven's gate for everyone 🤗

Me my whole life: Nothing is black and white. You have to consider nuance

Now: We face a heinous, remorseless evil

I talked to one of the r/MassiveCock posters who decided to bring anti-ICE conversations to the subreddit.

"... Nothing in life should feel ‘normal’ when these sorts of things are happening in our country. Even porn and sex," he said.

Gift link (obviously): tinyurl.com/mr3nua5k

I came to Minneapolis to report on what's going on, and one of the main questions I showed up with is "just what is the scale of the resistance?" After all, we're all used to the news calling Portland a "war zone" or whatever when it's just some protests in one part of town.

Kid Pix Studio Deluxe (1998)

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

[soul calibur announcer voice] everybody knows you're high, and they're mad at you

porn star name idea: Christian Mingle

patchung23 The audio could've been better 0 Reply 1 year ago

part of the reason i'm a socialist is because i know jazz will never thrive again under capitalism and we must save it

Kirby is... NORMAL

KIRBY'S ADVENTURE
HAL LABORATORY 1993
NES

I ran sound for him once in a big theater, he was so drunk he started watching his own Netflix special on his phone to remember how his jokes went

The Sun knowing it's about to be...eclipsed

SUPER MARIO BROS. 3
NINTENDO R&D2 1990
NES

These are two guitars made by Johnson. One looks like Gumby waving, and the other one looks like Pokey, his horse friend. I would pay good money to see a band play these in concert.

Johnson Gumby guitar & Pokey bass

Ozzy is one of like 3 people in Decline of Western Civilization Part 2 that comes off as a decent human being and I always love the scene where Penelope Spheeris interviews him making breakfast while he explains the ups and downs of the business.

Comedy is legal again

My newest opinion column: Hey What The Fuck

(Fred Schneider voice) would you know my name if i saw you in HEAVEN

THANK YOU

Kirby is an aspirational figure

trans people are real and bathrooms and sports are made up. if you act like that's the other way around i do not have to hear your argument because it is based on a false premise

@OkButStill tweet: Trump 1993 interview: Well, the gremlins are very fascinating creatures. I've seen the way they work together and they do it fantastically well. You think I'm joking, but I'd hire them if I could. Trump 2024 Rally: They're hurting so many people and you can't get them wet!

He’s been so stupid in such a particular way for so long that it’s a frog-boiling situation, but it really is like this if you go back and watch his older material

A boy named Ness

EARTHBOUND
HAL LABORATORY/APE 1994
SNES

What?! 108-Gigapixel Scan of Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Earring. Several years ago, digital microscope technology company Hirox collaborated with The Mauritshuis museum to create a 10-gigapixel scan of Johannes Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Earring. Recently, Hirox upped the game

This is bonkers: a 108-gigapixel scan of Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Earring. Each pixel is 1.3 microns in size (1000 microns = 1mm). At full zoom, the tiny cracks in the paint look like canyons. [kottke.org]

adult film character actor

In the alternate timeline where Jai Paul’s album didn’t leak in 2013 and he kept releasing his own music Bernie sanders is president

OF THE EMPIRE We will be known as a culture that feared death and adored power, that tried to vanquish insecurity for the few and cared little for the penury of the many. We will be known as a culture that taught and rewarded the amassing of things, that spoke little if at all about the quality of life for people (other people), for dogs, for rivers. All the world, in our eyes, they will say, was a commodity. And they will say that this structure was held together politically, which it was, and they will say also that our politics was no more than an apparatus to accommodate the feelings of the heart, and that the heart, in those days, was small, and hard, and full of meanness.

From a poetry collection by Mary Oliver, where after a hundred poems showcasing gentle observations on nature and animals, she hits you with this

Facebook marketplace listing for "Full Podcasting set up (Hardly used)

new saddest six word story just dropped