tilde 🦊🌹

mayb i should give myself a haircut with disposable razors again

energy works so weird i find it's kindof all in the head, though my fitness could be better

so i did scramble up a hill, wander around then walk in town for about 6hrs, breathing a bunch of smoke But I oughtn't be this wiped out today

demonstration and protest are not enough ofcourse But with the tension between US/Israel and their western allies in the UK/EU right now it's gotta at least be worth making a stand...

a start would be to demand an end to the UKs participation and cooperation in any and all action against the people of Iran as well as unequivocal condemnation of the USamerikkkan/Israeli terror. Not to leave out the other participants and their part in it either...

speaking of fires im more upset and shocked by seeing anything out of Tehran rn though. hard to process. there's something to be done about it but what and how.

it's pretty fucked that there's a cabal of gangster property developers that like to set shit on fire but whatever

my hair smells of smoke from the fire. could smell it in the air as far as anderston

Part of the Union Street facade has collapsed into the street.

📷 Glasgow by drone

both it's kinda the whole issue

imagine how brainwashed u have to be to believe u deserve to live at all rather than bombing a fucking school or hospital

tgirl social graph is crazy im convinced everyone i could ever meet is on average 2, at most 3 jumps away whether i know it or not

well at least im ahead on Something

💀

i don't have big ambitions except that creating anything worth sharing, worth living a life around is something so far away that i can only for now keep humbling myself

shitty little low effort snippings of writing or automatic drawing, making a new heart out of sellotape and cardboard and cheapo coloured pencils

i noticed that this winter i lost the small quiet creative drive that i had for a while. didn't particularly achieve anything with it but i like to feel i developed something for myself i can carry with me.

it's quiet but not empty, like a busy street where the passing crowds chattering becomes noise

never get any of the insane drama here, never get much of anything at all tbf

the level of post-carbs sleepiness lately is concerning... gonna put it down to age & poor fitness probably making its endocrines generally out of whack

that's right

Ugh. id be better off selfmedding real stimulants tbh

they were fine when i was doing better mentally now it feels like they just kinda make me irritable. not sure, need to ramp up again and see (i kept falling off of taking them which sucks cus if you miss a day the same dose is tio strong the next)

these meds that i got a many months supply of might suck ass actually :/

thank dog if so, never liked the bleach blonde thing

is it just me or is dyed hair making a comeback? i see more of it than i used to

it should not let the doom and rot get to it, but it lacks grounding. it feels like everything pleasant is escapism. everything is getting worse

at the very least if i fade away some day there's some kind of narrative to reconstruct from these indices to misery

idk i make myself sick bothering to string together pathetically moody words like this. it's a poor substitute for connecting with people in a real way where they understand where im at. But being distant anyways i feel a duty to those that have known me to try and communicate something