bailey

walking alone in a cute outfit in nyc on a summer night eating an ice cream cone… like yeah actually I do want to live forever

we put a man on the moon and still there’s no pill i can take instead of making dinner

the man in front of me in the airport security line is wearing flipflops, has a photorealistic tattoo or winston churchill on his arm that says “the roaring lion,” is carrying a louis vuitton backpack, and is poured into a polo i can only assume he got from baby gap. it is 4:40am.

just thought to myself: “audiobooks should have subtitles!” girl.,,, u mean the book itself ?????

sorry i was late i opened a tab for every single cognitive bias hyperlinked on wikipedia

i don’t mean to brag but i had two full glasses of water today

uhhhh we did a thing!

if i were oppenheimer my “now i am become death the destroyer of worlds” would have just been “oop—“

there are endless photos of me ripping cigs at my own wedding,,, indie sleaze is back folks

taking two benadryl with my zoloft hope i meet the hat man

Oh my GOD

the sweatshirt arrives from stussy today and meanwhile the sweatshirt that made me melt down now feels fine and I’m wearing it :)

just had a sensory meltdown because my sweatshirt felt Wrong and steve handed me a credit card and made me order a new one on the spot … modern marriage is so beautiful ♥️

omg guys it really happened…. After all these years of doing laundry I finally made the white-sock-in-red-laundry blunder

steve don’t look at this

is roku city a surveillance state

business school students need to be locked up and studied bc why are we voluntarily paying six figures to spend a saturday night listening to old jp morgan earnings calls on 1.5x speed

the eldest daughter urge to set yourself on fire when you need help w something

the only 9/11 book

honey it’s time for your emotional support coke zero

ur two fave menswear lovers

threads answers the question what if there were twitter that allowed you follow that one guy you had to work on a class project with in your freshman english class who now takes disney vacations and sells insurance

wake up babe a new town square just dropped

🤗

ladies love cool *squints* justice?

dugouts are lowkey goated when chewing bubblegum and waiting your turn is the vibe

if u insist

*chefs kiss*

today is the ten year anniversary of when i dumped my college boyfriend and texted him “happy independence day” after

steve brought me the cutest lil gifts back from his euro tour and i went to take a pic and he said “if you post that people will think we’re having a baby” but i know ur all smarter than to assume that.., i mean have you seen the size of steve’s head 🫶🏻