Needles

I’ve annexed the weird, long interior hallway at the mall that leads to the bathrooms

…..Several individuals close to the story described the President as “distended.”

…..Several individuals close to the story described the President as “distended.”

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm my dad if he had access to AI in 1994

They got him propped up like he’s Weekend at Bernie’s

Everyone knows the Moon belongs to Orlando. We’re putting shitty chain steakhouses and $5 t-shirt stores on every corner up there

I’m from Florida I was just happy to see a mountain that wasn’t a landfill

Love living in the “Please sir, may I have another” era

I was in San Francisco I guess 7 years ago today. I also saw the Sierras from the East Bay which I’m told isn’t actually typical.

BREAKING: A tragic mix-up at Walter Reed Medical Center resulted in the President being embalmed earlier today

That scene from Evangelion where Gendo Ikari has to do a Google Meet with HR, who are represented as a semi-circle of talking monoliths

Why do we still not have this as a Zoom setup?

The only reason we are alive to debate this is because Stanislav Petrov decided not to trust a computer.

OPERATION VROOOOM VROOOOM THIS IS THE SOUND MY DAD’S TRUCK MAKES 🇺🇸

Did something big happen recently in Erotic Photography?

“I have attained the peak of Seinfeld. It is now time for me to take a bride”

I love those times when a Trump ally says something like “Donald would never shit his pants!” but his urge to refute anyone he views as smart overrides his brain and he’ll go “Not true, I shit my pants all the time. Ask anyone, no one shits their pants like me. I’m doing it right now.”

Just pictured Nick Saban receiving a stuffie after losing to Clemson 44-16 and literally burst out laughing

Who up scheming?

I’ve never cultivated a relationship in my life and this just goes to show I was right

If you ask me, skating shouldn’t be about speed, it should be about getting to your destination safely

Vibes

I fear the scoreboard’s demand to Make Some Noise is a trifle ableist

Used to be you could support a wife and 3 kids on a button factory salary. Now that's all done by AI

Every show should have to use the Hill Street Blues theme song

Miskatonic University is definitely a D-III school, right?

The Winter Olympics are just about people showing us their weird hobbies

I’ve been calling him Big Bunny this whole time ☹️

LOL.... i wanted to hear JD getting booed at the Olympics and when i searched for it on YouTube i got this

My Super Bowl window has closed

I find the revelation that the world actually is run by a small group of wealthy pedophiles is at minimum “mildly interesting”