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Altimus

@altimus

28 | Ace | Shitposter by day, shameless scalie by night [18+ ONLY]

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16.10.2023
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Latest posts by Altimus @altimus

the dragon! (the dragon!)

the dragon! (the dragon!)

the dragon!

16.01.2026 21:56 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
A custom sticker in the fashion of Smash Bros GAME! graphic that instead says Gay.

A custom sticker in the fashion of Smash Bros GAME! graphic that instead says Gay.

Stickers you can immediately hear.

13.01.2026 18:48 πŸ‘ 15027 πŸ” 4114 πŸ’¬ 87 πŸ“Œ 49
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26.08.2025 20:26 πŸ‘ 2023 πŸ” 722 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 41
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue is sitting next to Green, who has curled up into a tight ball, looking miserable.
Green: Would you still love me if I never got better?

Blue hesitates a moment before answering.
Blue: What a silly thing to ask.

Joining Green on the floor, Blue wraps himself around Green, who doesn't seem as sad anymore.
Blue: I would love you even if you got worse.

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue is sitting next to Green, who has curled up into a tight ball, looking miserable. Green: Would you still love me if I never got better? Blue hesitates a moment before answering. Blue: What a silly thing to ask. Joining Green on the floor, Blue wraps himself around Green, who doesn't seem as sad anymore. Blue: I would love you even if you got worse.

24.11.2025 13:21 πŸ‘ 9611 πŸ” 2603 πŸ’¬ 43 πŸ“Œ 108
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the biggest motivation boost

17.11.2025 02:00 πŸ‘ 5004 πŸ” 1488 πŸ’¬ 37 πŸ“Œ 30
24.10.2025 20:42 πŸ‘ 4400 πŸ” 1755 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 5
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happy none pizza left beef day!! it's been 18 years and is now old enough to vote

19.10.2025 16:07 πŸ‘ 5223 πŸ” 2259 πŸ’¬ 36 πŸ“Œ 87
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*fires off a single fireball towards you that slowly tracks you*
*fires off a single fireball towards you that slowly tracks you*
*fires off a single fireball towards you that slowly tracks you*
*fires off a single fireball towards you that slowly tracks you*

18.09.2025 05:40 πŸ‘ 14207 πŸ” 5534 πŸ’¬ 74 πŸ“Œ 107
visenyaism:

Had to ban the phrase "tricky dick" from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they're just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they're all medieval peasants. gonna lose it.

visenyaism:

an image that shows the man pulling the date meme with the woman saying "Richard the Treacherous has attempted usurpation and must be stopped at all costs" with the calendar date showing it ripped from 1972 to reveal the actual date of June 1483.

visenyaism: Had to ban the phrase "tricky dick" from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they're just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they're all medieval peasants. gonna lose it. visenyaism: an image that shows the man pulling the date meme with the woman saying "Richard the Treacherous has attempted usurpation and must be stopped at all costs" with the calendar date showing it ripped from 1972 to reveal the actual date of June 1483.

11.09.2025 15:51 πŸ‘ 4553 πŸ” 1373 πŸ’¬ 16 πŸ“Œ 10
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A5 wagyu

29.08.2025 08:24 πŸ‘ 32 πŸ” 7 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

i need to get back to posting my art at some point

i've been cooking

28.08.2025 12:13 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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do the thing

27.08.2025 12:35 πŸ‘ 10848 πŸ” 2926 πŸ’¬ 29 πŸ“Œ 16
Little pewter wizard about an inch tall looking at an older style computer with a blue gem in his hand

Little pewter wizard about an inch tall looking at an older style computer with a blue gem in his hand

Had to share this absolutely incredible find from a flea market this last weekend, weird little pewter wizard at his computer pondering with his gem??? I’ve never bought something quicker!!! This is one of my all time
Favorite objects now

26.08.2025 14:34 πŸ‘ 13 πŸ” 5 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 1
a furred dragon saying "A" with the mouth open very wide in a comical manner

a furred dragon saying "A" with the mouth open very wide in a comical manner

I am a dragon of many words, such as:

#furryart #doodle

29.07.2025 20:22 πŸ‘ 111 πŸ” 36 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0
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πŸ‘€

27.07.2025 20:00 πŸ‘ 367 πŸ” 135 πŸ’¬ 10 πŸ“Œ 0
Bill Fosters Facebook post to Bush’s Beans on July 23 saying he’s thinking about thos beans

Bill Fosters Facebook post to Bush’s Beans on July 23 saying he’s thinking about thos beans

Happy beans day to those who celebrate

23.07.2025 13:54 πŸ‘ 2164 πŸ” 596 πŸ’¬ 15 πŸ“Œ 23
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15.07.2025 08:06 πŸ‘ 4214 πŸ” 1926 πŸ’¬ 19 πŸ“Œ 32
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when it’s my turn to say β€œa” at the β€œa”-saying contest

07.07.2025 07:18 πŸ‘ 4002 πŸ” 943 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 13
Text from the image: having a Minotaur boyfriend would be so funny like imagine crying on the couch and you hear his Thunders big body SUV built ass footsteps approach you baby what's wrong he says tenderly as he rubs your shoulder you look up to explain how bad your day was with tears in your eyes and you fucking see this. Image is an extreme close-up of a cow's nose looking up at the cow.

Text from the image: having a Minotaur boyfriend would be so funny like imagine crying on the couch and you hear his Thunders big body SUV built ass footsteps approach you baby what's wrong he says tenderly as he rubs your shoulder you look up to explain how bad your day was with tears in your eyes and you fucking see this. Image is an extreme close-up of a cow's nose looking up at the cow.

01.07.2025 19:08 πŸ‘ 3268 πŸ” 1088 πŸ’¬ 13 πŸ“Œ 53

Inspired by this clip, hilarious what a difference the angle makes.

02.07.2025 16:22 πŸ‘ 136 πŸ” 39 πŸ’¬ 10 πŸ“Œ 2


Dicking Around

Storytime!

Halloween a few years back my mates and I were dressed up for Halloween and my cat furry roommate (good guy, furries are entertaining folks) was wearing his partial suit out with us. We were in Boston proper and all of us were on a budget at the time, so the only option for a late night drink and dinner open to us was a place called Dick's Last Resort.

If you've never been, the big draw at Dick's is that they're dicks to you. The staff are sarcastic, they throw your menus and straws and shit at you, and they make you hats that say mean stuff.

*image of a white male wearing a crude paper hat that says nobody likes me*

I don't get it either. So anyways, we've got - I'll call him Frank - the cat with us, and Frank's 100% ready to go fuck with Dicks, so we head on in.

The waitress starts doing her bit, but the cat in the room has thrown off her game and she doesn't really know how to handle Frank in Full Cat mode.

He points out the drink he wants without speaking, with a paw, on the menu and she asks for an ID and starts saying 'I swear to god your ID better have a big fuckkin' cat on it or-"

*image of a NEW YORK State drivers license featuring an image of an orange tabby cat with a. Furry in the background with their arms up in excitement *

She threw his licence back at us and walked away speechless. Didn't talk to us the rest of the evening.

Anyways, I dug up this old photo today and thought it deserved to be preserved for posterity. So here you go, the day Frank broke Dicks.

Dicking Around Storytime! Halloween a few years back my mates and I were dressed up for Halloween and my cat furry roommate (good guy, furries are entertaining folks) was wearing his partial suit out with us. We were in Boston proper and all of us were on a budget at the time, so the only option for a late night drink and dinner open to us was a place called Dick's Last Resort. If you've never been, the big draw at Dick's is that they're dicks to you. The staff are sarcastic, they throw your menus and straws and shit at you, and they make you hats that say mean stuff. *image of a white male wearing a crude paper hat that says nobody likes me* I don't get it either. So anyways, we've got - I'll call him Frank - the cat with us, and Frank's 100% ready to go fuck with Dicks, so we head on in. The waitress starts doing her bit, but the cat in the room has thrown off her game and she doesn't really know how to handle Frank in Full Cat mode. He points out the drink he wants without speaking, with a paw, on the menu and she asks for an ID and starts saying 'I swear to god your ID better have a big fuckkin' cat on it or-" *image of a NEW YORK State drivers license featuring an image of an orange tabby cat with a. Furry in the background with their arms up in excitement * She threw his licence back at us and walked away speechless. Didn't talk to us the rest of the evening. Anyways, I dug up this old photo today and thought it deserved to be preserved for posterity. So here you go, the day Frank broke Dicks.

This made me snort so now you have to see it

14.06.2025 18:44 πŸ‘ 1533 πŸ” 566 πŸ’¬ 18 πŸ“Œ 10
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joining artfight this year for the first time ever

I work a lot, maybe too much, so I'll try to partake as much as I can

Do with this information as you please

Or don't, I'm not your boss

01.07.2025 14:48 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Panel one: a worried guy says "I hope none of my friends find out about this weird thing I'm into"

Panel two: worried guy is surrounded by his relaxed friends. An arrow points to all but one of them saying "is also into that shit". A different arrow points to the last one, who has a chaotic gremlin kinda expression. Their label says "is into even weirder and more fucked up shit".

Panel one: a worried guy says "I hope none of my friends find out about this weird thing I'm into" Panel two: worried guy is surrounded by his relaxed friends. An arrow points to all but one of them saying "is also into that shit". A different arrow points to the last one, who has a chaotic gremlin kinda expression. Their label says "is into even weirder and more fucked up shit".

what having internet friends is like

20.04.2025 12:28 πŸ‘ 10924 πŸ” 4272 πŸ’¬ 41 πŸ“Œ 205
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artist's ocs

29.06.2025 22:01 πŸ‘ 1711 πŸ” 526 πŸ’¬ 26 πŸ“Œ 70
A white bunny is captured mid-jump on a wooden floor, casting a shadow.

A white bunny is captured mid-jump on a wooden floor, casting a shadow.

27.06.2025 04:12 πŸ‘ 2946 πŸ” 568 πŸ’¬ 20 πŸ“Œ 35
17.06.2025 14:25 πŸ‘ 2442 πŸ” 951 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 10
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A hat for me

16.06.2025 01:54 πŸ‘ 3607 πŸ” 1027 πŸ’¬ 12 πŸ“Œ 32
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Stolen from other site

11.06.2025 00:22 πŸ‘ 3675 πŸ” 1577 πŸ’¬ 23 πŸ“Œ 104
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READING
IS FUNDAMENTAL

09.06.2025 15:33 πŸ‘ 2500 πŸ” 240 πŸ’¬ 58 πŸ“Œ 11