half-life
22.04.2025 16:36
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half-life
My therapist: Airbrushed Seth Myers can't hurt you.
Airbrushed Seth Myers:
Big movie year for the movies, big movie watching year for me! (I was unemployed)
This is how I found out
Angels: fake
Dragons: Real but extinct
Leprechauns: Real but I think their powers are more limited than stories would have you believe. Critically endangered.
Chupacabra: I don't want to speak over latino voices on this one. I'm listening.
Bigfoot: fake and extinct
Very excited for Nosferatu
I'm calling it right now. Cats (2019) WILL have a reappraisal in my lifetime. Sooner or later who's to say but I'm calling my shot now.
Some fun Spotify wrapped stats:
86%: How many tracks artists say Spotify has demonetized on its platform.
$0.004: How much the average artist makes per stream.
US$114M: Spotify CEO's investment firm spending on AI military tech.
$0: How much the intern who says she created Wrapped was paid.
The fact that Chevy Chase was such a nightmare to work with is such a shame since he's SO good as Pierce in Community. So needy and insecure hidden behind layers of Boomer bravado. Alas.
On further reflection, this is the whole book (complimentary)
I finished it. When is MY Lizzie Bennet gonna pop out and tell me I'm trash, changing my entire life???
JIGSAW: all your life you've really drowned people to death in urine by being late all the time
VICTIM: boy I don't like where this is going
They keep shoving Michelle Dockery into the 1920's. Let her run someone over with her space car.
In the last thirty pages of Pride and Prejudice for the first time. Bangs, but this whole section is just-
Lizzie: why the hell won't this guy talk to me oh my god mum's so embarrassing well if we wants to talk to me he can talk to me he has a mouth does he hate me??
Bennett: 🥺 p-p-p-pretty girl 🥺
Made an all time investment tonight fellas. @stuartfdrake.bsky.social made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
Ngl-if you dislike #megalopolis you need to get some whimsy in your life STAT
Sex and the City with Catwoman
Girls with Harley Quinn
Euphoria with Bane
Succession with Killer Croc
Last Week Tonight with The Mad Hatter
Real Time with Victor Zasz
Deadwood with Poison Ivy
The Pacific with Egghead
True Blood with sexy Professor Pyg
The Wire with Clayface
Off the success of The Penguin/Sopranos show they should do other HBO ripoffs with Batman villains.
Game of Thrones with Ra's Al Ghul
Curb Your Enthusiasm with The Riddler
Entourage with Mr. Freeze
Girl who figures out she's trans by going as Wow Platinum for Halloween