Joe Staples

Haha Bari Weiss is ChatGPT

René Magritte (1898–1967) illustration 2 to “Les chants de Maldoror” by Comte de Lautréamont lithograph, 1948 a bizarre figure with human legs and a fish torso seated on a rock while a sailing frigate tosses in tempestuous seas in the background

for some reason the 'Reverse Mermaid' never caught on

ummm.. holy shit? tool use in bovids confirmed? holy holy shit?

The evil priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (no longer the worst Indiana Jones movie!) holding the still-beating heart of the sacrifice.

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
The very next day
Kali ma shakti de

Not a single flavor in that home

'A House of Dynamite' but it's your uncles trying to deep fry a turkey.

Corn dogs are bi

Considering a parody 7soulsdeep account called 3knucklesdeep

One big lesson from Mamdani's victory:
Don't be afraid of billionaires. Make billionaires afraid of you. Take them on, don't back down.

Billionaires from Musk on down used all their tricks and failed.

Democrats are trained to lust after billionaire money, but courage has tremendous value.

I heard that they're packing Andrew Cuomo into a box and putting him in that warehouse at the end of indiana jones

Let’s goooooooooo

ladies and gentlemen...we got him

Emil Bove, about DOJ's whistleblower and former employee Erez Reuveni, lied during his confirmation about Kilmar Abrego Garcia and more.

Why can judges lie and keep their appointment?
Why did he decline to speak to 60 Minutes is he not lying?

#ProudBlue
Video credit: 60 Minutes

The Pope tweets: "The poor are not there by chance or by blind and cruel fate. Nor, for most of them, is poverty a choice. Yet, there are those who still presume to make this claim, thus revealing their own blindness and cruelty. #DilexiTe" Someone replies: "I was so hopeful I could be a Catholic again after the disaster that Francis was, guess we just get Francis 2.0 now and I am heartbroken. How do I stay a Catholic now...I don't want to lose faith but I am. You belong to someone else, not God."

heartbroken to learn the pope sympathizes with the poor. how can i continue to believe in god

Have you seen this man?

I’m just now learning there’s a human being named Gleb?

“Two years ago today, Hamas carried out a horrific war crime, killing more than 1,100 Israelis and kidnapping 250 more. I mourn these lives and pray for the safe return of every hostage still held and for every family whose lives were torn apart by these atrocities. In the aftermath of that day, Prime Minister Netanyahu and the Israeli government launched a genocidal war: adeath toll that now far exceeds 67,000; with the Israeli military bombing homes, hospitals, and schools into rubble. Every day in Gaza has become a place where grief itself has run out of language. I mourn these lives and pray for the families that have been shattered. Our government has been complicit through it all. This must end. The occupation and apartheid must end. Peace must be pursued through diplomacy, not war crimes, and our government must act to end these atrocities and hold those responsible to account. These last two years have demonstrated the very worst of humanity. We must answer it by modeling the very best: a relentless pursuit of our higher ideals and an unwavering commitment to universal human rights.”

My statement on the two year anniversary of October 7, 2023.

MIKE JOHNSON: They want to give taxpayer-funded benefits to illegal aliens again

CRAIG MELVIN: I had a hankering feeling you were going to bring that up. I actually did look at it. That's a bit misleading

Sean Connery is a red strapped outfit. He's very hairy.

William Shatner as Captain Kirk. He's in a black strapped outfit and has a smooth chest.

before and after hegseth's directive

"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."

"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."

"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."

"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."

genuinely love that he made it all the way over to the bike lane before hopping on, too

How well did I sleep last night? I had a dream that involved me falling asleep

Doublesleep

The weather in New York is supposed to be 60s all week next week and I’m gonna be SO ANNOYING about it (positive)

Being anti capitalist makes you a terrorist? Well, thanks Jeff Bezos I guess for establishing that it’s wrong think to be anti capitalist in one of our nation’s biggest and most important newspapers where no one is allowed to defend critiques of capitalism.

OBAMA: It's fair to say that 80% of the world's problems involve old men hanging on who are afraid of death and insignificance, and they won't let go. They build pyramids, and they put their names on everything. They get very anxious about it.

the fact that so many people frame autism as “a problem that needs to be solved” is a constant reminder that being “not normal” isn’t acceptable to a large amount of the world. it’s the same reason there’s a trans panic right now too. they think people are defective

Things I trust more than RFK and his brain worm:

- the iPhones track record of correcting fucking to ducking

- crypto founder explaining why this time its different

- gas station sushi under a heat lamp

- titanic submersibles

- exxon-mobil’s sustainability department

- actual science