karli (she/her)

imagine having your teacher record your class talking about love and them being like, “no it’s ok, it’ll be on one of the greatest hip hop and R&B albums of all time”

my boss: you’re exceeding expectations. i see a bright future for you here.
me: am i fucking up, though????

lol remember how jesus is known for washing ppl’s feet

PSA: this has filled in the patchy parts of my eyebrows where I overplucked in the 00s AND made my lashes longer AND it was like $10 AND it's clean/green.

One time this guy sent me a picture of ppl grinding on each other at a club he was at with the caption, “this could be us, but you playing” and I think about it all the time.

There’s an alarm going off in O’hare and we are all about to go down with the ship. Not a chance are we missing our flights for a fire.

Baristas Whispering Orders
and other small annoyances

no one in wisconsin seems to think i’m funny???? or cute????????

make it make sense

every person i’ve ever met from a VC is the worst person i’ve ever met

finished piece

- boarding makes everyone sweaty
- but fat ppl get extra sweaty*

*i am included in this

- “you have an accent so you’re not from here. where are you from?”

- put on some fucking pants and brush your hair, people. you’re about to defy gravity, have some fucking respect
- rat tails are gross braided but they are horrifying unbraided

airport observations:
- girl bending over in light grey leggings. see through, full thong
-older dude body slammed into someone bc he was checking out that girl bending over

yesterday marked 4 years to the day since i left my abusive ex husband

proud to be able to honestly say that this is the happiest and healthiest i’ve ever been 💛

ok y’all can stop now thank youuu 😊🫣

well yes

hahah!!

unhelpful

for context we have talked about what we want - we’re both interested in partnership. and we’ve talked about wanting to go slow.

i feel similarly re: partner label. we’ve been dating 4+ months and there have been no mentions of gf/bf

this sounds like a teenager’s google search

how long into the relationship do you call someone your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner and how do you do it?

The post work pre-date nap is a dangerous DANGEROUS game.

Crying On a One Night Stand
and other vodka-induced atrocities

progress on the pour over 🎉

i walked home from my almost-boyfriend’s house tonight and bc it was late and dark i was walking hella fast

so fast that some sweet old man pulled up next to me and was like “are you ok? nobody’s coming after you or anything?”

bless him

Blair Does Summer, part of the Sassy Black Cat series

hard boiled eggs and cottage cheese: the busy gal's guide to just putting some fucking food in your body

a war against single women: the harrowing tale of one woman’s battle to setup her AC unit