doubled pawn

a restaurant without free refills is a thirst trap

To all the comments saying this won’t do anything…we need more people to speak out against this regime. Saying it won’t help is actually what won’t help.

Oh I see, the amount of worse it can get is infinite

They should invent clowns that don’t kill people

I spoke to the person, looking straight into their eyes and trying my best not to let my glance wander downward.

“Hey, eyes are up here buddy.”

“Huh?” I looked up further and met their actual eyes. “I’m sorry…I thought…wait, do you have two sets of boobs?”

“Nah, the bottom set are my testicles.”

Qg4+ and you win a free queen. You can’t do the green line because they block with their queen.

“I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues” to be played on repeat at every grocery store until further notice

Rxg6# sounds nice

Aim low, and be prepared to fail anyway. That's the secret to life.

I started ordering miso soup before getting sushi, and it really adds to the experience. Now I can’t imagine going without it!

This is awesome!

Explains why Vance had his water cup covered

What is the weight capacity on that thing

“I hired you as a chef and for five days straight you’ve made only mashed potatoes with cold butter on top. How about something else tonight?”

“I’m going to be completely honest with you. I don’t know how to cook one goddamned thing.”

“Oh wow…”

“I could still whip you up some—“

“Fine, fine.”

Broil setting on the oven?

Showing my hairstylist a picture of the guy from Ancient Aliens

Obliterate-the-fuck-out-of-this-flavor supernova

It is organizational policy to require being on camera, and then not caring anymore after the first few meetings

Too easily we forget the “Find Out” part of the Taco Bell experience

He’s got a waterbed in the guest room

“The last thing you heard him say was, ‘Can you check these nuts?’ Is that your official statement?”

“That’s right.”

“Was it at a doctor’s office…or, I guess, perhaps the hardware store?”

“Tire shop.”

Ordering “the chipper” at every restaurant, without explanation

He might be referring to DC and Puerto Rico

“My entire life has changed ever since I took up journaling,” she set down a large stack of journals.

“Oh wow,” I said. “Oh wait, these are all empty. Just blank pages.”

“Uh yeah I said journaling…not writing. Can you imagine? Nope, I just sit here and bind these pages. I call it bind and unwind.”

Rook takes knight that was protecting black’s bishop, black’s bishop takes white’s bishop, rook takes black’s other bishop.

Back-to-back brilliants? You are too kind, @chess.com

#chesspunks #chess

unintentionally walking to the beat of a song

I think it goes 1. Qf7+ Ke4 2. Qc4+ Kf5 3. g4+ Rxg4 4. Qxg4#

Ron Johnson, are you aware that you are a tumbling dickweed?

I like Qxe1 here, with the threat of Nf2 forking the queen. I don’t like their Nb6+ fork, but I think black is okay after Kc7

Drafts “A sweet soap that is also edible”