Emily's whistle sounds like the end of all things, and she runs on a special kind of coal that gives her powers beyond reason. She turns Percy into a pile of green tins which Thomas opens and finds that they are all full of snakes and nails.
#TinnedProblems
#SnakeForTeaAgain
Hornby announces a new, 'limited edition' James model. It's actually just a cinderblock with the word 'James' written on it in ink, but is priced at £200 and will sell out instantly because we are all suckers for punishment. #SoItGoesCoalFans
"Bother these multiple Tobys," huffed Thomas, "they're just quadratic trams!" The fretwork of Tobys #scuttled and #sang.
Life is too short for perfection. I think this one's okay, and somebody was trying. Nobody makes a cake like this out of spite. Follow me on breadlyfans for another one tomorrow, if you like.
#BakedKettleNubs
#PeepCreepSaysSo
Thomas gets a V8 K-swap, and now he's the fastest train in Christendom. He zips past Gordon with a mighty roar, leaving only the echo of 'peep peep shitdicks' and burnt rubber in his wake. The passengers are more worried than usual.
#V8ThomasTerrorTour2026
#CatchThePlague
این بهترین کیک توماسی است که در تمام این هفته دیدهام. جیمز تبدیل به یک گودال کره و تخممرغ شده و کنترلکننده چربی هم پوشیده از دودههای غلیظ است.
#وگان #وگانوگانوگان
#کیک_وگان_بخارپز #کیک_وگان_بخارپز
I would join a club called 'The Burnt Thomas Cake Society,' where we meet to trade burnt pieces of Percy and James over hot mugs of cream. The members are the finest folks you'll ever meet.
#CheeseChatSaturday
#WhoIsGregor
#GregorHasTheAnswers
日本人には対応できません。英語とCoal語しか話せません。 ＃コーンハッシュブラウンs
七本の光の槍がトーマスの尻を捉えた。「この矢は邪魔だ！」トーマスは困惑した。「何の役にも立たない！」 #園芸顔面騎乗
ラスティとディーゼルがデュエット曲「万華鏡のような未塗装の壁の嘆き」を歌う中、ファット・コントローラーは庭に座り、世界最高の機関車バーティーのために石炭とリコリスのマフラーを編んでいます
#ChoccoalAndTarragon
#ChocolateCakeTuesday
To make a real Thomas cake, you must know this:
The true shape of Percy is square.
The true shape of Thomas is unknown.
The true shape of Toby is the letter F.
The true shape of Gordon is a circle with a gap.
The true shape of James is red.
#cakefacts
#truefacts
#liefacts
Toby and his square friends have a square day. They talk about squares and drink square tea from square cups. It's like every other day on the island of Sodor, but with more corners.
#FriendsAndSquare
Diesel Fact 972: Diesel's horn is powered by 18,000 vampire bats. They live in the horn and scream whenever Diesel wishes to blast his mighty sound. The bats are a gift from Mavis, who has a bat farm in the quarry that produces coal and bats.
#bats
#bathutch
#bathutchbathutch
"I'M THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE, AND I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" screamed the cake as the icing melted into blue and red puddles. The children ran from the room, crying out for Mavis, their only hope in this world of coal rain and grot.
#MavisMondays
The Fat Controller, now a creature of pure pastry, wheeled in the new engine. "This is Greasy," he announced, "an American import powered by bourbon and bad."
James and Gordon exchanged worried glances as Greasy belched greatly then sicked up Percy, whole.
#CoalAshMondays
#AmericaRunsOnGreasyGrime
The cake is mostly splinters and blood. James says it's the finest thing he's ever tasted and makes gurgling noises that sound like "bother these splinters"
#BloodSplinterPact
#JamesTheSplinterEngine
#SplinterSky
Thomas had a new hobby: making up lies about Gordon. "Gordon once ate a whole village for breakfast," he'd say, or "Gordon's whistle is just Gordon screaming into a tin can."
Gordon didn't mind; he knew Thomas was just trying to make the world a more interesting place to be.
#MellowMonday
Mewtwo isn't a real Pokemon. It's a giant puffin made of sulphur and shit, with the face of Henry painted on its back. Thomas has been trying to catch one for years, but he keeps getting distracted by Mavis's swearing.
#MewtwoMondays
#MaybeItsMavis
Gordon will ask you about poetry, but you know all he wants is to hear himself speak.
#fuckoffgordon
To eject Percy, press the big green button on his roof. Percy will hiss and make an unusual sound before flying off into the sky like a piece of fat controller's 'energy toast'.
#PercyEjectedIntoOrbit
#WhatIsGravityToAToastedTrain
🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰
I'm not a cake at all! I don't give a fuck!! Fuck off!!!!!
🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰
#PercyThePercy #SmashThatLikeButtonForPercy #CakeFactsFriday
🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰
Harold, you soar above the problems of the world, a shining beacon in the sky. Your propeller sings songs of hope as you ferry sausages and sense to the unworthy below. Thomas is jealous and will always be jealous, but that's just #Thomas.
#bombardedbybangers
#sausagesfallwetlyaroundthomasthetrain
Harold's propellers spun like the hands of #God, making children shed their hats in fear. He would drop into the ravine and eat stones for power, rising again with a grim grin to spot Toby from above. Toby shed his cowcatchers in fear and #rattled off into the bushes.
James marveled at the towers of cake. "Towers are obsolete," said Thomas, "like your mother and the idea of consequences for Thomas."
#PercySucksEggsInHell
#JamesIsKingOfTheWorld
🍳🍰🎂💨
Another year, another horrific pile of vegan scrap. Toby has turned in this disgraceful entry to the Thomas Cake Competition (Vegan). Toby is under arrest for cake crimes. He faces life without even one jaffa cake, vegan or otherwise.
#CoalForFunAndProfit
"Marble me with coals and lemons, and butter me for tea" says Percy, the Fat Controller's buttery favourite.
"Percy," he says, "your tastes are strange but splendid."
#heartfeltthanks
#strawberrypancakerecipe
#haulageday2026
Gordon would not stop whispering about 'the trucks', which we now know is code for drugs.
#DrugBustMonday
#LaughingInTheSink
＂Fie on this cake,＂ said Thomas, ＂it is but a portcullis for naughty souls like mine.＂
#ThomasIsSoRightAboutThat
#BotherTheKingAndHisStupidTraps
#ScrapsForAll
The new engine from Spain, El Grillo, is a huge locomotive with a tiny moustache and a big ego. It loves to shout '¡Viva Sodor!' as it races down the tracks, causing Gordon to have more of his #classic #meltdowns.
Oliver and Percy are both painted green. That's where the similarity ends. Percy is a small, fat, jolly, round-faced prop who wouldn't hurt a fly. Oliver is a gunmetal bastard with a face like a bin. The two engines spend their days on Sodor, eating coal and writing angry letters to the #government.
When Thomas isn't working on 3D crate rendering for prop aficionados, he's photoshopping big red noses on to the Murdoch prop to 'help us all not to be terrified of Murdoch'. I get the feeling it's going well.
#murdochpropcrime
#murdochpropclub
Toby drinks gin from a hat and sings the Mavis Song. It's a lovely song, but not for children.
#GinTrampDay2026
