Kelcey

One thing that working in a restaurant will teach you is that people having the same name as a celebrity is actually really really common

Pantone Spotify Wrapped like “your favorite genre was “dog whistles””

A table covered in collage materials of squash photographs and playboy pictures and various pieces of ad text. The centerpiece shows a woman looking fondly at a giant knobbly squash, with the text “oh, darling, you have everything i’ve always wanted”

Working on some squash passports to get folks out to restaurants this winter

A picture of a “Zara Man” storefront but the lighted sign has very close kerning and says zaraman

When you’re trying to cop that dark wizard fit

Screencap from tv show “Fleabag” in two panels, the first showing Fleabag saying “are you okay Father?” And the second showing Hot Priest saying “oh fuck you calling me father like it doesn’t turn you on just to say” Except in both instances “father” has been blacked out and replaced with “chef” and hot priest has been poorly photoshopped with a chef hat and apron

Has anyone done this yet?

A picture of a tin of what claims to be “rimming sugar”

Medically speaking, I’d advise against that

Humans crave Pocky because it satisfies the forbidden urge to chomp on a thermometer under your tongue

A hand holding a shallot approximately the size of one finger joint, against a background of normal-sized shallots

Shallot?
More like shalittle
(This works better if you’re British)

Picture of an extremely messily handpainted sign in a construction zone that says: “Dunkin CLOSED 9-8-2025 to 9-15 SEP”

European date format: DD/MM/YY
US date format: MM/DD/YY
Boston date format:

Opening credit screen of “The Third Man” showing text that reads “zither music played by anton karas”

You know the movie’s gonna be lit when you see

It’s a joke

If you thought “The Brutalist” was beautiful but too intellectually rigorous, might I recommend “Architecton”?

It has come to my attention that many of you think Laser Wolf is just a goofily random-word-named restaurant, and not a CLEAR REFERENCE to the Fiddler on the Roof character, this is what defunding the arts in education has done to us!!

Three round scoops of pale yellow ice cream posed inside an open green corn husk on top of a patio chair

Made corn ice cream, like every other restaurant in new england, but we also have apricot-kernel (with poppyseed) ice cream, and you’re not getting that anywhere else probably

A large group of pigeons convenes over a full slice of pizza

Girl’s night

If i had a nickel for every time a guy at this specific bar has asked about my tattoos and then asked if i know who owen gray is, i’d have two, which isn’t much, but it’s weird that it happened twice

FAST COMPANY Article: While retirement typically occurs, after completing a career and saving and investing for it, a new trend is emerging among Gen Z career professionals called "micro-retirement." Micro- retirements involve taking a one to two- week break from work every 12 to 18 months. Gen Z is using micro-retirement to avoid burnout, find greater fulfillment in their work, and enhance their overall well-being. However, it's not just Gen-Z:

'Vacations.'

The word is 'vacations.'

Things are bad but I just passed two dudes walking together on our street, one with a cat on his shoulder and the other with a cat on a leash in his arms, and that? That is really really nice

A rectangle of ice cream sandwich with yellow cake and tan ice cream in a dish of red syrup

We did it, we created the world’s first* Cold Dip™️ sandwich. The ice cream sandwich au jus. Lemon cake, toasted coconut ice cream, strawberry syrup

*do not fact check

Also it’s usually much bigger than this, this was a taster for 2 staff. Also also if you’re vegan it comes with dulse and not tobiko

A seared brick of taro pace shows golden layers flecked with purple, a bright green pea sauce underneath, and a jewel-toned salad with shredded coconut, lime leaf, and res tobiko

If you’re a hot girl (or anyone else) who IS into taro, you can have it at Spoke Wine Bar in pavé form, meaning it’s sliced thin & stacked in layers & cooked in coconut milk & then cooled & pressed & cut & seared crispy & has a coconut “slaw”(?) with fried lime leaf & shallot & tobiko

When you misunderstood the hot girl who said she was into tarot

Captain America screenshot that usually says “I understood that reference” but it says “I didn’t understand”

The kid through all of 28 Years Later

Gif of Captain Holt in Brooklyn 99 pretending to be straight by saying awkwardly heterosexual things like “i see a pair of thick weighty breasts and all logic flies out the window”

Listened too closely to the lyrics of Bad Mama Jama and now they just sound like Captain Holt pretending to be straight. “Her body measurements are… perfect, in every… dimension” “i get so excited viewing her… anatomy”

Many such cases

I have some questions for the guy wearing a “Top Dad” shirt which bore only a very low effort resemblance to the Top Gun logo

A dating red flag that is going to sound overly specific but actually isn’t that you should run away if a man talks often the macros of pumpkin seeds

Full profile shot of a titanium bike in sunlight on a bike path

Shot of a stem cap engraved with “if not now, when”

It helps that I am very spoiled and relish any scheme to air out the beautiful Lynskey my dad built up for me :-)

A scoop of ice cream with pink flecks rests on a rumpled piece of white fabric scattered with rose petals

Made beach rose ice cream this week (with “urban-foraged” petals, of course). It comes with sumac jelly, but the jelly isn’t pictured because we don’t exactly have a media budget so I needed this napkin to stay clean and usable

Wylie Dufresne told me to stop letting the air conditioning out of his donut shop (the customer leaving as I walked in didn’t shut the door)