Jared

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done

- started a war in the middle east
- completely destroyed the economy

heads up to the american news media: I do not care what racists thought of the super bowl halftime show

Photo from the Niners/Colts game and the chyron says "44 year old Rivers did his best"

My next performance review #Niners

Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year

30 Rock episode where Jenna Maroney has a meltdown that her Spotify listening age is 64 so disappears to listen to KPop Demon Hunters for 72 hours and then sleeps with a Spotify engineer to change her Wrapped

Joyce Carol Oates @Joyce... 17h O So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend's or relative's accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated, uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the "most wealthy person in the world."

Elon Musk ' @elonmusk X.com Oates is a liar and delights in being mean. Not a good human.

lol she got his ass and he knows it

Senator Schumer has failed to lead this party in one of its most critical moments, and Americans will pay the price. It’s time for him to step down from leadership and make way for a new generation willing to fight for the people instead of the powerful.

You'll then need to pass the treacherous traps of Unc Valley before ending up with your own brand supremacy that slays

Is this the best speech I've ever heard

i can’t believe a good thing happened we should do this more often

With him, specifically

NYC *has* its first millennial manager

He’s gotta go. He sucks so bad. Millennials need take over the Democratic Party, and I’m sorry to whoever that offends.

Boomers ruined the “American Dream” for us so we aren’t nostalgic for the good old days when white men ran everything.

We live in reality.

Amazing. The man isn't even mayor yet but he's already solving our trash problems.

I could nev-uh

As someone who doesn't watch sports but does love human suffering, I'm having a great night

I like how Zohran Mamdani scandals are like "He called his old cousin his aunt one time" and Andrew Cuomo scandals are like "He sexually assaulted 13 women."

drake turning off the game as it gets to 18

I know there are bigger legal fish to fry but I would like to propose life in prison for anyone who makes a u-turn in an intersection

Final boss of circling back

ultimately, zohran mamdani is a reminder that politicians can be younger than 80 years old

the past tense of screenshot should be "screenshat" it just makes sense

I think we really should stop using antifa and just fully say anti-fascist and get them saying they are against anti fascism. Using antifa is giving them some distance and I genuinely think some of their base don’t even know that’s what it stands for.

petty capitalism (n.): when an ad interrupts a video you're watching, buy something from their competitor

Nominees for the 2025 word of the year:

📘 Capitulation
📗 Enshitification
📕 Acquiesce
📙 Slop

If you hate the Pope because he is too “liberal”, I have some very bad news for you about Jesus.

the president of the united states wants to use the american military to kill american citizens on american soil. that's the whole story!

Props to Uber for capitalizing on the rapture

One of the absolute bottom line things I want to see in a Democratic politician now: a commitment to prosecute the crimes and criminals of the Trump regime. Absent this, the United States will never recover from this nightmarish, depraved, corrupt administration. Game over, man.