Robison Wells

My 16 year old son has suddenly discovered Weird Al for the first time. Yes, I am apparently a bad father. But he’s getting so much joy from it now!

I love that Bishop Budde’s book is currently #60 on all of Amazon.

I never remember. But when I get done I really feel like an expert who can conquer the world.

I have once again reached the point in writing a book where I realize I don’t know how to write a book.

Guys, this is because I just watched a dumb BookTube video:

The genres of:
Picture Book
YA
Adult

do not equate to:

Amateur
Mediocre
Good

Hey, I got a raise today! That’s pretty great!

I’ve spent Christmas unemployed too many times to not feel extremely grateful.

I admit I buy shoes primarily because they’re cheap and secondary because they’re a famous brand. (I know nothing about shoes.) But are all Adidas garbage, or have I just been getting the cheap disposable Adidas? This is two pairs wearing out in ten months.

When I was first published (this was 2003) I used to go to bookstores and, without telling them who I was, ask if they liked my book. And they’d almost always say yes because they were trying to make a sale, and then I’d go “that’s me! I wrote that!”

In short, I was an insufferable nuisance.

Wait wait wait—

My wife and I met on Thanksgiving Day. Whirlwind romance, got engaged two days after Christmas. Dates often consisted of looking at Christmas lights. We first held hands walking to the store to buy tape so we could wrap presents…

Is my marriage a Hallmark movie??

I have a slight headache but I’m cozy in bed and I’ll be damned if I get out of here to take some ibuprofen. This is a hill I will die on. I will die of a mild headache.

Out of curiosity, how does BlueSky make money? Or more to the point: how long before we start getting ads?

We did quite a bit of shopping today, not because it’s Black Friday but because it’s payday. I promise we didn’t save any money.

Guys. I’m almost ready to send my manuscript to my agent for the first time in five years. I really love this book, but more importantly, I really like that I am healthy enough to have actually done it.

I wake up early in the morning, and the routine is I get up, quietly get dressed, and then go to the gas station for a coke.

This morning when I got to the gas station it was closed. Because it was 2:00am. My alarm HADN’T gone off, I’d just woken up and assumed it did.

I’m kind of dumb.

I am very jealous of you right now.

Over the holiday I heard a friend refer to adderal as “legal speed”. And I get that some people abuse it but to me: it is God’s own miracle. Medicine is really neat science that makes our bodies function better! We shouldn’t be shaming anyone for the meds they’re prescribed.

Side note: I have a writing problem where I can’t set a book in a place I’ve never been because I’m so obsessed with being able to picture EVERYTHING. Like, I need to know the addresses.

I either need to have been there or totally make it up.

Today hasn’t been great for the old noodle. Nothing major, just regular old depression. I do this so much I should be better at it.

Looking forward to tomorrow though. If I could pick my last meal it would be a thanksgiving dinner. There is no finer food.

Every day is either:

“I have it all figured out!”

Or

“I have no idea how to write!”

As often as it happens, it still surprises me every single time.

I have this book idea. It’s just this character. And I have tried at least four different plots over the last eight years to make it work, and it just doesn’t seem to work.

At some point I’m gonna have to give up on it and do something else.

But it is not this day!

We could use some exciting prophecy.

So remember when Eats, Shoots, and Leaves came out and she was really upset about emoticons? Did she ever do a rerelease that reflected our culture of emojis? Because I may not be remembering right but I don’t think that ages well.

I challenge anyone to come up with a better “Life is great and I don’t care about anything” song than Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

The ones that spring to mind are Joe Abercrombie, though I can’t recall titles. I liked them. They were essentially historicals where the author gets to make up the history. It’s a fun idea.

25 years ago this very day my wife and I met at a thanksgiving turkey bowl. We were guarding each other and she intercepted two passes intended for me. We were married by March.

(This post is a test to see if the anti trans accounts absolutely swarm on Bluesky the way they bombarded me on Threads.)

“But trans athletes have an unfair biological advantage!”

But this is fine? Okay.

I ADORE the Muppets in every single thing they do but at this time of year I have to give my annual notice that: Scrooge (with Albert Finney) is the best Christmas Carol adaptation, hands down, end of argument.

I try not to count words because it feels a little arbitrary, but I’ve written a lot of them today and I think they’re pretty okay.

I’m not anywhere close to opposed to the duct taped banana as a piece of art. I actually think it’s kinda neat.

But explain: you own the right to re-duct tape a new banana when the old one rots. So you’re essentially owning a license to perpetuate this artwork, right? So: Ship of Theseus? Or NFT?