ywbl ☎️

i knew about music. i just didn't tell you about it becuse i knew you wouldn't like it

I’m feeling it. The pain at the pump, that is

Ladies, please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please post about how you want to get railed by Rotta the Hutt
- LucasFilm

The flopsweat is palpable

New column from the ants: People are not dumping sugar on their counters and floors and leaving it. That's a problem

Ginger-jub! you gingerly rascal!

he learned it from dr. king in season 1 🥲

5’7” is the normal height to be 🧍‍♂️

That’s not my responsibility

Do you like posts that say stuff like “Heres what we can do to steve off disaster” or do you like posts that say stuff like “The way these heights wuthering got me feelin like white heathcliff”

“hello master Markwayne” - Alfred if he was hired by new DHS secretary Markwayne Mullin #juiceit #makeitviral #pumpthenumbers

nothing wrong with that. any port in a storm

Calm down.

I still don’t have tuberculosis, if anyone even cares.

Me probably

I know that’s right

☝️

I care.

I’m not sure. I don’t have all the facts

I care.

they should make a tv show about an lapd homocide detective named after a dutch painter

perhaps you could combine the two, and elicit humor from the juxtaposition...?

do you like post that say stuff like “this and a baddie with adhd” or do you like posts that say stuff like “i’m worried about all of these problems”

That’s just the way it goes most days

Not much, good morning nm

lmao

SHERLOCK HOLMES: and it was only as i exited your residence at Mar A Lago just 2 nights ago that i noticed the rash on the back of your neck. Tropicalius Rodentus, a subspecies of fauna only found on the island colloquially known as….Little St James

DONALD TRUMP: Wow, that’s absolutely amazing

Thank you I will

10 years ago Iran had Bob Hope, Steve Jobs, and Johnny Cash