Hunson Abadeer

These people out here forgetting which one of us is a non-profit orginization

Not one but two Catholic churches hitting me up for discounts on already discount rates like "But this is for a church" Hell nah. You already don't pay taxes, your organization runs the worlds largest pedophile ring in history and y'all got your own private country. Ask the pope for a discount

Gotta a do it right and take them to Mordor

Wowzers some of my kid's friend's moms are.... uh... extra friendly. Huh. Ok, I'm going home now. Thanks for everything, have a nice day!

My hot take is that dangerous breeds of both men and dogs should be eliminated from the gene pool

I'm not the type who enjoys flirting with women so if you ever see me cheesing on a lady in public please know:

1) This is a visceral reaction. People smile when they're surprised by beautiful things
2) I will be very embarrassed
3) I'm sorry. Unless she enjoyed it. Then... well... aw shucks

It seems to be a real sticky issue every time I mention we're all better off without some people becoming parents. It's mostly sticky with the assholes who would make terrible parents. These people really, really mourn not being able to boss around a bunch of little kids

"How did you know he was from New York?"

"He wouldn't stop talking about bagels"

I'm so fuckin' normal right now

I dunno, putting cheese on it could make a random internet guy sad

This is a really good quote

Ok but maybe we focus more on the morality of the situation and a lot less on whether or not any actual deities exist because arguing about what your invisible friends would think about any situation is dumb on so many levels

I did a little research and it turns out the women in most MILF videos were already doing mundane household things like cleaning, doing the laundry and dishes before the sex started so maybe this is just another extension of that old-as-time "I'm going to fuck your mother" meme?

The thing about working is... like... I just don't wanna

I was really hoping that UHC killer would get a away with it long enough to cash in on his good deed at least a little bit. Like "Agents found him holed up in a Nevada whore house, where they had been harboring him for months"

"Wanna see my vasectomy scars?" is a heck of a conversation starter

My mom is dumb and yours probably is too

I have a bad feeling about this Trump fella

PRS are the Nickelback of guitars. Fight me

You think growing up being a twin is always going to be fun but then you both grow up and your life long team mate goes mentally insane and after a while you forget you are a twin because your brain doesn't want to go there anymore

Sometimes I don't do good work

I hate how much effort doing stuff takes

"What would you do if he caught you drawing a dick on his fence?"

Wrestle him down and draw a dick on him too

"What if he knows martial arts?"

Then he stands a chance

"What if he has a gun?"

I don't know. I don't have anything I can use to draw a dick on a gun

I like where you're going with this but some of us don't even carry epi pens for ourselves

Would it be blasphemous to hope they all rise again from the dead like Jesus did or nah?

The worst dating advice available is given by 'experts' while the best dating advice is given freely by your mom. Plus, your mom won't turn you into a fascist

If you need me, I'll be dating your mom

Her: "Is that... blood?"

Me: "Yeah, that was mine. Don't worry about it."

I'm watching Avatar The Last Airbender live action series on Netflix and my only complaint is the casting for Uncle Iroh. Paul Sun-Hyun Lee looks enough like the part but he's just not a good actor. Everything else is good

I made a joke about the ladies at Panda Express being sweet on me one time and... wait... they actually seem to be now that I'm paying attention? really?? nah. but what's this? no way. crazy! I'm flattered, possibly to death. I've got to go die now. Bye

Cool beans. Fan art is good and liberties should be taken