Pete 🌎n Ea🕊️th

The Police cover band

same. i breaded my love filet, she said it was too crispy.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Now I have a box of chocolates

They call you lady luck, but there is room for douuubbbt

Grilled or extra crispy? jk both

god u love tracking where i'm going

The true crime podcast girlies are really killing it with the epsteeen files. Let's give them all honorary journalism degrees.

Christmas do be like that

i'm afraid to say Jesus is the Reason for the Season because of pronouns

Sorry family but all the best presents in the world still don't match the slow drip of perfect dopamine distribution i get from this shiny little hand screen.

F. Slut Fitzgerald?

My wedding photog was a real F Stop Fitzgerald.

it seems to me that the *really* free ppl always seem to speak many languages.

Late to the game here:

Are Seattle residents really called Seattleites?

That is so rad. 🛰️

Yes, I know that’s not the quote. I SAID I WASNT A SMART MAN!

PSA: As you send little ghosts and goblins away with *your* candy this Halloween, please remind them:

SOCIALISM IS FUCKIN’ COOL!

ChatGPT thinks that *I* have good ideas. 💅

#crikey

Hi #tayorswift please use your billion to create a new New Deal to bring jobs in arts and sciences back all across the country and redistribute wealth through labor that people feel fulfilled doing please.

Consider fingering depression?

They have fun.

It’s not just bread and circuses.

It’s Crunchy Flamin’ Hot bread and circuses!

I may not be a smart tv BUT I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS JENNAY!

Church rummage sale, without comment

Death is like a box of chocolates:

You think you’re getting caramel but it’s grief every time.

On my tombstone:

“Aughhh!”

Alter.

*shudders

#Halloween

Low battery is hands-down my most effective social media management strategy.

“Liberals are killing comedy!”

— eLOL Musk