samantha morgan (i’m kidding)

on hold with Delta for five hours cuz I’m lonely ❤️

on hold with Delta for five hours cuz I’m lonely ❤️

I’m “starting to enjoy HGTV” years old today ❤️

proud to report I’m off jello 👍

You never see it coming

I’m “starting to enjoy HGTV” years old today ❤️

proud to report I’m off jello 👍

Someone plz get this for me

Omg luv this cool machine that reminds me where all my body parts are ❤️

SO CUTE:

a nurse threatened to call security on me because I was in too much pain to control my volume while struggling to breathe… it was upsetting the other patients.

so considerate of them . ❤️

Any tips on how to quietly suffer in a hospital? They don’t like the way I do it here. 😟

Im not feeling funny right now but I’m really grateful for you guys ❤️

Someone plz get this for me

Hmm I wonder if the nurse has any loosies ❤️

HIPPA HIPPA hooray

I’m cracking up lolllll

i wish I knew where the navel was. It’s not on the glowy sign.

No I think it’s just the alien that’s incubating inside me.

sometimes I get the lungs confused with the brain so this is really helpful ❤️

Omg luv this cool machine that reminds me where all my body parts are ❤️

🤟🏻

it was supposed to be glorious like the noon sun and instead all we get is one of those shitty blinking LEDs on hotel fire alarms that keeps you up at night

hope you're doing better today 🫂

Im not feeling funny right now but I’m really grateful for you guys ❤️

love a good laugh scream.

you’re probably using the wrong steak knife

probably

honestly I don’t I hate the pancake guy he can go kick rocks.

also maybe if someone has low oxygen, the crying out is warranted? Nah I was prob overreacting ❤️

not the first time this has happened either unfortunately.

Nurses like you are angels though and I am grateful for all the amazing ones.

ty ily guys ❤️