Dong Draper

i call em eater eggs on account of made of chocolate

@boontavista.com 🫵

💯💯💯

my junk smell like the deli counter

[Q]
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

[A]
I always thought that Richard Cranium was funny as h*ll, and I hope someone in here can agree.

[2008]

Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz Inventing a new lifestyle philosophy called "The Nine Delights" where each day you try to experience at least three of the nine delights 10:05 PM • Jun 25, 2021 • Twitter Web App 71 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 1,198 Likes Brooks Otterl... @i_zzz... • Jun 26, 2021 Replying to @i_zzzzzz THE NINE DELIGHTS Walking Around Fellowship Deliciousness Transcendence Goofing Amelioration Coitus Enthrallment ** WILDCARD *

Nine Delights 2026

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

The image is a picture of Brian in two Monster energy drinks. The text: The lion doesn't concern himself with a sharp pain in his chest it is simply the hard asking for more energy drinks

hot girl jar jar binks

just saw this image and got a #boner

Getting irrationally angry at Virgin Media telling me that it “won’t be the same” without me as a customer

Staffordshire Uni is the only institution brave enough to have a pair of big naturals as their logo

I don’t care that my Honey Gold is expiring. I don’t even know what that is

It’s me in my Michael Myers costume with little ralphie the cat undermining the whole thing by being cute in front of me

now he is playing with my knife! god damn it

Happy Halloween

The leg press machine is for improving your ability to be put into a mating press

a public toilet with a massive diarrhoea dump all over the floor missing the basin completely

Ratio me. Please. It’s a badge of honor

[Q]
Who is the pope and what is his job in the church?

[A]
its his job to be popie

[2007]

[Q]
When was the last time someone said you were sexy?

[A]
Last Thursday. it's very common for me

[2013]

it’s awful what’s happening in Roku City

[Q]
are southern women better then northern women?

[A]
i dont know

[2006]

What Trump needs is a good shagging.

I hate it when a sign calls itself a “polite notice”. I’ll be the judge of that!

this is the exact expression my little brother used to get when he got his milk at bed time

it’s embarrassing to wake around with a gym towel. Oh you got your blanky?

[Q]
When watching a good movie with your significant other?
and a steaming sex scene comes on, do you get... well... a bit "excited" shall we say?

[A]
my sweet friend,I think ye could say that,guys will be guys,ye might say,lol,

[2013]

you’d think adding sugar to mint tea would work- what with all the sweet mint flavoured things in the world. But it doesn’t. Probably a lesson in that for a smarter man than me

Saw a guy at the store see a woman picking up some new bags for life while in the queue. He raised his own, old bags for life. Said “welcome to the club”.

I’m psychicly manifesting tool tips with the current speed limit in the mind of the slow driver in front of me

They should invent a tempeh that doesn’t smell like sweaty balls

Do Not Fuck With Gamers