Howie Kaplan

The second page of this paper is the greatest second page ever put to print

How it feels to use a semicolon for the first time in your 20+ years of writing copy

Sharks, Snakes, and Ghosts: Space Force Unveils 7 Bizarre Themes to Name Its War Tech Guardians will use sharks, snakes, and mythological creatures to draw inspiration for satellites and orbital warfare.

Yes, yes, everyone's 12 now, but these do look like a kinda cool Secret Lair drop gizmodo.com/sharks-snake...

I've stopped adding exclamation points to work emails. Is this what trying heroin feels like?

An email from Crocs shoes offering a very lame discount on "jibbitz" for my half-birthday.

I challenge you to find something more 42 1/2 years old than getting a celebratory email from Crocs

My kid thinks it annoys me when he and his friends shout 6-7 all the time... as if I didn't grow up calling everything "shagadelic".

A celebrity roast but it’s of whoever at google slides keeps making the worst UX changes imaginable

Attention all lobbyists! Looking for a new gig helping underpaid #Congress members buy more stocks and make more money?

One of my favorite D&D tropes is when a ragtag group of adventurers with wildly different skills, goals, and ethics who don't even really like each other still manage to work together to slay a dragon.

This post is about Gavin Newsom.

I can rest easy knowing that Geoffrey Chaucer would feel welcome at my new doctor's office

Mortal Wombat by EndlessMc MortalWombat

endlessmc.itch.io/mortal-wombat

Exclusive: The Onion has opened a creative agency America’s Finest Creative Agency is “like a writer’s room and like a strategic and conceptual laser in your pocket,” The Onion’s CMO Leila Brillson said.

Very exciting news. When we started at The Onion, we had a goal: Find more places for funny people to continue being funny.

Today we announced America's Finest, a creative agency/whitelabel service based on making your content, you know, actually entertaining

www.marketingbrew.com/stories/2025...

Exclusive: The Onion has opened a creative agency America’s Finest Creative Agency is “like a writer’s room and like a strategic and conceptual laser in your pocket,” The Onion’s CMO Leila Brillson said.

Very exciting news: The Onion has started a creative agency.

We've been doing this quietly for months, so if you've seen a funny ad somewhere, it may be us. But now it is a whole-ass company.

Anyway, we have killed Don Draper for a second time and revived his drunk ghost. Contact me to access him.