Spoon

Dollar store Jesse Singal

see, thats the problem right there, gotta get him to eat an adult bears liver.

i do this too

centrists are always saying stuff like that after brunch with their nazi friends aren't they?

Drawing of a duck looking at a flier for curling lessons

duck pulling a curling stone

A duck pushing a curling broom

That same duck on a podium winning first prize with a medal and crown

A few months ago I got the story of a duck who aspires to curling greatness stuck in my brain and simply couldn't get it out until I did this

orange cat looking offended

whenever he is sitting around looking upset we've started calling him "Upsetti Spaghetti, the Italian cat" and i'm pretty sure it just makes him madder

it still says 'press start to play' for me
i tell people i can't see the start button
its a lie
all of it

(after reading something you wrote, and having zero difficulty parsing it) the way you wrote this is Wrong. it seems almost as if you've forgotten about The Rules

I think a fundamental divide in modern dem party politics is between people who want to change/influence candidates & people who want to change/influence the electorate. One of these tactics seems much fucking easier imo

the humans who created the training material the next token predictor was trained on sure fucked that one up

IF YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED IT'S NOT BECAUSE THERE ISNT ANY WORK JUST LOOK AROUND: A HOUSING SHORTAGE, CRIME, POLLUTION; WE NEED BETTER SCHOOLS AND PARKS. WHATEVER OUR NEEDS, THEY ALL REQUIRE WORK. AND AS LONG AS WE HAVE UNSATISFIED NEEDS, THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE. SO ASK YOURSELE, WHAT KIND OF WORLD HAS WORK BUT NO JOBS. IT'S A WORLD WHERE WORK IS NOT RELATED TO SATISFYING OUR NEEDS, WORLD WHERE WORK IS ONLY RELATED TO SATISFYING THE PROFIT NEEDS OF BUSINESS. THIS COUNTRY WAS NOT BUILT BY THE HUGE CORPORATIONS OR GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACIES. IT WAS BUILT BY PEOPLE WHO WORK. AND, IT IS WORKING PEOPLE WHO SHOULD CONTROL THE WORK TO BE DONE. YET, AS LONG AS EMPLOYMENT IS TIED TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROFITS, THE WORK WONT GET DONE.

the Black Panthers were right

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

I’d love to be able to enjoy the Muppets as much as everyone else does but whenever I watch them I just feel sick imagining what the man inside the Kermit the Frog costume must look like

BAGGER: (spilling my groceries on the floor) Oh God. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I'm supposed to do.

ME: How are you supposed to do it?

MANAGER: She means she was gonna be a fox. In the woods and shit. But something happened and she got stuck.

BAGGER: (crying) Got so stuck.

I'm starting to think their midterms plan is to lose so many seats that it actually seems suspicious lol

i would be overjoyed if the U.S. had a president as ethical and even-tempered as Chancellor Gowron

"why does the white house press corps not punish trump for his indecency and dishonesty" like you're asking why the refs miss so many travelling calls at the Globetrotters game

my larger son confidently asserts that harry belafonte's banana boat (day-o) is "the perfect sound" and yknow what. that's so true

m@thew @tweetpotato314.bsky.social cashier: can take your order? me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :) November 10, 2024 at 8:13 PM

Ever tried boiled pasta? Not as crunchy but still good

They are at war with you. Are you at war with them

The sickos meme but instead it's a cow with a shirt that reads "SICKOWS" peering in through a window saying: "Moo... Ha Ha He... Moo!" By @cowtoolsdaily.bsky

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale

Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools