Mitch Gustafson

She’s right though

Better cross it off with pencil - there’s still a chance of petrification by daughter #2

yeah, straight off the dome

don’t make me start a blood feud in your replies

You text me your old posts if they’re relevant in our conversations alllllll the time

This is (regrettably) 100% true

Please do not give out my wife’s personal cell phone number.

at the very least they should let you keep the stones your gallbladder grew!

my children are half lil’ stinker on their mother’s side

the “was beer” bong

Wonder how many ants made their way in to mine your butthole before you noticed

Pretty sure there are never more aluminum neck guitars in the city of Minneapolis at one time than during Caterwaul

ZooTWOpia

Oh I thought we already did that when you were born?

Bad news - we definitely still call you “Baby Ceej”

EAT THE RICH (text)

Maybe we could be richer if rich text would quit hoggin’ everything

Big fan of the giant piece of confetti that clung to Terry Bradshaw’s sweaty forehead the entire time he interviewed Jalen Hurts.

I’d rather take my chances with the shark

Shrinkflation strikes again

Facebook Marketplace listing for “bottom half of jeans $85.” Includes a picture of the cut off bottom leg parts of a pair of jeans.

Facebook Marketplace listing for “bottom half of jeans $85.” “Description: Use these to sew on the bottom of jorts to get jeans”

If you think egg prices are bad, you should see what the “bottom half of jeans” is going for these days

Yeah they got one from smoking the cigarette

Yeah neither am I

don’t manifest too hard - you might get a poopover instead

Worked for me, and now I have an absurdly high follower:post ratio!

Werner Herzog

“now the jingle hop, has begun”

I heard he’s got garlic in his soul

Hell yeah you’re welcome

Good pick!

adding a gif of grill tongs clicking twice