Naptime Hero

I've apparently been sleeping on Meghan Trainor. My bad.

Overheard at the bar:
"You're stripes!"
"I know I missed!"

Interaction I just had at the store:

Random dude: Did you bring the leashes?
Me: Ah dang no I didn't.
R: Here's what you got a do. Go see Auntie Cheryl and get the leashes.
M: Oh cool, thanks for letting me know!
R: You're welcome!

Anyone else get irrationally mad when they be the hiccups? #fuckhiccups

Me: Can I get a lot of fire sauce please?
My guy at @tacobell.bsky.social: Yeah I gotchu
Me: 😍

a white bird with a long neck is standing in a grassy field ALT: a white bird with a long neck is standing in a grassy field

I'll keep you me dirty little secret (dirty little secret), don't tell anyone or you'll be just another egret (just another egret)

Cat Tax

Me: I'm going to have late night chips and cheese
Cat: mrow
Me: excuse me?
Cat: meow!
Me: I AM going to have late night chips and cheese and YOU CAN'T STOP ME

Present me: Midnight Taco Bell is a great idea!

Future me: Midnight Taco Bell was a horrible idea!

Time to see how many people's days I can ruin at the airport(s)

Listening to my cousin talk about how a seagull ate the polish off her toe nail. #JustFloridaThings

I'm going to start joining the conversations of people talking on speakerphone in public

As I sit here on the dance floor with bubbles breaking over my face, I think about the decisions that led me to here. That's pretty cool, man.

I'm a slut for string cheese

I've not seen a group of people look like they're having less fun than country line dancers at this bar I'm at... #outofmyelement

When did people stop following elevator etiquette? Someone almost ran straight into me because they practically ran in before I had a chance to leave

Getting on the elevator in the middle of the night while carrying this. I'm a normal human person

What am I most excited for in the new year? Hanging up my new Bob Ross calendar.

New tradition of mine is to donate to @lustgarten.org on my dad's birthday.

I miss the short time when people were respectful of my personal space. If I'm in line and take a half step back and bump into you YOURE TOO DAMN CLOSE

Walking home tonight.
"That's weird, the crossing light is out. I wonde-oh...."

As a kid I never understood why Garfield hated Monday's so much. I get it now

I've been inside all day today and just took a look at the weather for the first time

I just got so stressed watching someone pull out of the parallel parking spot. First they almost backed into the car behind them. Then they almost clipped the car in front on the way out.

My absolute favorite part of winter is getting static shocked by damn near everything

Set a pb for going to the store 2 days before Thanksgiving

Glad there's finally some FSU on Bluesky!

A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #2,392,520, Naptime Hero ‪@naptimehero.bsky.social‬, joined on Dec 6, 2023"

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #2,392,520!

Neat.

One of these things is not like the other...

Wife and I had different reactions to seeing this right by our hotel last night