Was going to post the screenshot but realized it’s bad op sec because the meta data about my location is still findable in the pic metadata
The song was “I regress” by the show ponies.
The song that came on right after is “Run” by Awolnation. It is possible that the song reminded me to be careful
Map-marking on the song thay just came on as I was writing this out.
I did not queue this up, and to be real, I usually skip it when it does come up because intense emotions are uncomfortable and awkward for me sometimes.
It could be considered portentious but I’m refraining from public analysis
marriage. A guy who gives relationship advice to other men, who sings my praises in public in a tasteful and humble way, but also encourages guys like him that view me as their type that girls like me are everywhere, you just need to look in the right places and ask Creator to help you about it.
other men jealous of him and jealous of your marriage”.
As much as jealousy sucks, I can understand ambition. I can understand these little unspoken things, like status, winning, having a crown jewel of a spouse.
My dream is to marry a guy who feels wealthy and content when he thinks of our
Gotta be real with y’all: I loathe Andrew Tate (sorry God) as much as the rest of us, but the one suggestion he wrote publicly that stuck with me for years was a dating strategy that makes other mean jealous of the winner. He said something along the lines of “to keep a guy, be a woman who makes
for enjoying this walk is “Narrative of the Emerging King”, but I’ve also been getting a lot out of “Lifeguards”. I’m obsessed with set theory and topology; some songs are in multiple playlists, because I get valuable data by observing the topology of connections. “X song reminds me of “y” person”.
the pit to complete honorable for suitorship (I go into more detail on Threads; will try to have a website or accessible google form created soon), one fun thing you can do is access my Spotify activity (my Spotify is public and I use it 24/7).
I am on a walk right now; most recently, my playlist
Currently walking and running errands, which is one of my favorite hobbies because I get to think about projects I’m working on or people I find intriguing. I get to untangle things and rep out visualizing my wins to a healthy degree.
If you are a gladiator with honor who is considering entering
That’s a helpful distinction though, I appreciate you standing for values that are not toxic manosphere values. “Make being honorable cool again” type thing
Yea see I don’t know any of this stuff, i’m so behind haha. I had amazing parents and as an engineer who plays combat sports, my hobbies were always male dominated, but I still know basically nothing on any meaningful level about what it’s like to grow up as a smart and unique man in this country
Imma keep Storyboarding, but I’m saving reference material, and would appreciate any memes or posts you see that are related to war, religion (I love God), land, love, warriors, religious men, hero mascs, etc etc. I want to know where masculine men feel best about themselves. I want more data.
This afternoon on my walk I pictured a short form video: it would go something like “my issue is that I need a guy like this [shot of Ned Flanders being friendly] who is also like this [shot of Leonidas teep-kicking a man into a pit whilst screaming “this is Sparta”] but also like this [fatherhood]
It seems common for masculine men to be familiar with stoicism and warrior culture (i am a [extremely underperforming] semi pro grappler, jiu jitsu instructor, and honor/war/glory type Indigenous person, so I like guys who are like that while ALSO being extremely smart and observant/empathetic
I’m posting here because I’m self-banning from posting on Threads until Monday (long story), but I have been asking my friends and mutuals raised as men about what men experience.
I am an extremely weird femme, but I am most attracted to masculine mascs and want to understand more about them.
selves. To have their face, image and talents to be celebrated, and shown next to their stats like an NFL boy or something. This could be a spot on the form where they get to pick something they’d like to compete at—their biggest competitive advantage. Not just traditional warriors, but also jesters
I take a lot of steps to protect my heart and avoid limerance. One of them is making sure I can recognize fantasies that aren’t *inherently* specifically tied to an individual: I like thoughts that work for future crushes and give me freedom/protect me from limerance and over-indexing on one person
Picking my future spouse having to explain to guests why there is a full, movie-accurate, useable spartan warrior costume in our home while not admitting that’s there to LARP in and take pics in 💀 😂
Someday, somewhere, my future spouse & I ate going to have *so* much fun someday, God willing.
I guess Bluesky is gonna be as close as I get to a truly public (safe for the public) journal, because it’s so small that almost no one sees me when I need to day something unhinged, something vulnerable, something true. Something that “breaks the rules”. You are safe, Rebeca. You are safe here.
Was watching 300 last night and I gotta say: if you’re a girl who falls in love easily and generally lives wholesome life style, but still craves a warrior, you can picture anybody under those spartan helmets. Picturing a disciplined, empathetic and righteous masc is so fun. Highly recommend.
I feel, sometimes, about you the way that pessimists and atheists feel about God and the utility of prayer. like I am sending these words to no one, nothing. Writing to an empty void where you used to be. He is not watching over you. He was never watching over you. Grieve hard and move on. Move on.
Three things:
Beautiful days like this are so melancholy because I wish I could spend them with you
“you” in this case applies to 2 or 3 people. Only one of those connections is romantic-flavored. Other types of connections matter
That man is long gone. Suck it up and move on, Rebeca
Absolutely beautiful day outside and it’s bittersweet and isolating. I am isolated. I have to wear that on my shoulders like atlas because I would rather be alone than live as someone I’m not
It got my attention almost immediately because it mentioned three separate Maya-related portents in the first three minutes Kaán Kun (Cancun), blood (blood letting is huge for Maya people), and sharks. An animal reference, a life force reference, and a land reference. A perfectly symmetrical set.
Accidentally got super spooked / galvanized by a sermon coming from a preacher that I find interesting.
I usually find that particular person’s style of preaching / voice and cadence really anxiety-reducing, so sometimes if I need to sleep I just put it on in the background. This one kept me awake
I need at least one social media account that I can safely dump my completely unhinged thoughts into. Lookin like Bluesky might have to be that for me, but I have a list of other platforms including Mastodon that I plan to check out. I’m a computer Mexican / city Indian who stirs a lot
Me, the Cowboy Indian from the Cowboy's-n-Indians trope: "ain't no such thing as being too country where I come from"
my grandpa: ORGANIC MILK SHOULD TASTE SLIGHTLY LIKE MANURE. I REFUSE TO DRINK THIS STORE BOUGHT SHIT
me: I take it back. there is such thing as being too country where I come from
Things are meant to be used, people are meant to be loved. Not the other way around <3
This is so true and also a helpful mindset switch for me haha. Gotta stay focused on the big picture right?
but then I’ll also remember at the same time that I am a non-white woman and they definitely wouldn’t have let me publish anyway lmao. No FOMO, only future 😎
Sometimes as a computer science obsessive, I’ll read these old ACM journal articles and private writing from my heroes and just feel this tremendous FOMO that I missed out on the birth of this field, that I wasn’t able to work with,learn from, and debate the giants whose work we build on, Cont’d)
