It's true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. On account of the fact that apple trees are not fruit catapults.
09.03.2026 15:10
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It's true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. On account of the fact that apple trees are not fruit catapults.
Coffee tastes better when you don't have to reheat it several times, probably.
Daylight saving time? I haven't even used up all my daylight from last year.
They say hindsight is 20/20, but I tried it and my driving got even worse.
I'm nangry. Not hungry, just angry.
I got one of those wrinkle-free dress shirts and it works great. You just have to choose one that is a couple of sizes too small.
"There's plenty of fish in the sea."
- Supportive friend / imprecise ichthyologist
Maybe the real zombie apocalypse is all the friends we turned into zombies along the way.
🎶 "Ra-Ra-Rasputin, he always kept the ice so clean." 🎶
- Zamboni M.
"Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven."
- Non-random number generator
I hope my last words are something simple, like "That meal and the sex were both great, but I'd better get to bed since I'm 120 years old".
I wonder if dung beetles refer to us as pizza mammals.