Chris Somerville

here’s what the Kyle and Jackie O split could mean for your grocery bill

More songs should start like Monkey Gone to Heaven. "There was a guy." Ok I'm listening, what's this guy up to

a lunar eclipse is happening

he also regularly posts his phone number, PS5 and xbox usernames and publicly fired a 12 year old from the page’s admin, he’s definitely got it

who.is enjoying the wet stuff

‘sea oak’ by far

look at that juice falling

weather radar photo with the caption ‘Look at that juice falling Who.is enjoying the wet stuff’

sometimes the berserk local weather page I follow posts something that I instantly know is going to be stuck in my brain for months

our 7 year old daughter is reading Harry Potter for the first time and asked us where we thought Voldemort would have got a gun from to kill Harry's parents

no!

GP’s love to sit you in a chair and get you to watch them type ‘sick man too beefy??’ on their desktop computer. It’s easy to see why you’d pay 190 dollars for this experience.

Our seven year old daughter says she plays a game at school where she and her friend walk around the school at playtime and talk. She calls it walk and talk and says she invented it.

I think of this tweet often

that’s right

Cool history dude, but before I really get into it do you happen to know if it was written by the victors?

what was on the rest of the list

imagine owning a newspaper and still having to write a letter to the editor of a completely different newspaper

always keep em guessing

only the most normal people on earth air their grievances in a letter to the Australian newspaper

can you image an arts festival not guided by a real estate agent and an airport manager? makes me sick just to think about

I reply “let’s go” and we end up blowing up a water reservoir

added to a group chat where I don’t know most of the people and was added late so it’s mostly people saying ‘sounds good’ and ‘I’m in’ but I don’t know what everyone’s agreeing to

the human mind will not be able to comprehend whatever insane editorial Caroline Overington has cooked up for the weekend australian

there’s also a girl in a big ‘I ❤️ NY’ t shirt

Guy named Toby who has to workshop his short story the week after Franz Kafka: ‘Yeah I guess I would say this one’s a little Tobyesque.’

a gym is going to employ an AI coach that recommends a kind of lunge that instantly kills you

unfortunately there’s no other way to make one of the worst cups of coffee you’ve ever had in your life

they’re calling it The Tuesday The Bakeries Reopen

the main thing I remember I from reading Murder on the Orient Express is when Poirot mistakes 8 people stabbing the victim all at once as the work of an emotional Greek or Italian man