Kelly🆘🇺🇸

The rage I feel...

Welcome to the Polymarket Concentration Camp!

WETTEN MACHEN FREI

At Largest ICE Detention Camp, Staff Bet on Detainee Suicides, AP Reports Camp East Montana has received several 911 calls in the span of five months about immigrants trying to harm themselves.

Staff at the nation’s largest Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention facility have placed bets on which detainee will be the next to die by suicide, according to new reporting from the Associated Press based on 911 calls and detainee accounts.

I have bangs now, also known as economically challenged Botox.

It's Friday so let's enjoy some of the absurdity of this timeline.
I'll catch you up: McDonald's CEO, who may not be human, posts video "eating" a burger "product". Instant viral mockery. Competitors jump in. BK, A&W, Wendys (who cooks his own burger AND slings shade about ice cream machines) and..

Does this stun gun make my ass look fat

Anyone else fed up seeing the supposed leader of the largest economy in the world talking grave war ultimatums with a bloody baseball cap on like he's Ash Ketchum or something.

It’s looking increasingly likely that Kristi Noem and Lewandowski funneled almost 200 million in government money to a company that is run by her friend and that nobody can give an address for.

Oh, and it was 8 days old when it was awarded the contract.

WAR CRIMES DON'T HIDE SEX CRIMES!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!

On Wednesdays we wear the calloused consciences and spilled coffee of our enemies as mirrored sunglasses.

Oh so NOW you’re all hot & bothered about the President? Weathervane Republicans. Is that a thing? You heard it here first gang

I flirted with disaster and now I'm married.

Hear me out: a cake you jump into.

I gave up trying to understand song lyrics after I listened to that one Yes song in 1979

Look Canada, I’m not looking to apply for citizenship yet but let the record show I have never listened to a Gordon Lightfoot song without openly weeping

I am outta here

I eat healthy because I feel guilty for helping to bring life into the universe and they might need my help for several decades.

roughly once a decade America ignores every single lesson of history to start a doomed, insane war with the promise of swift, overwhelming victory and ends up spending a trillion dollars on war crimes that accomplish nothing

How come “How are you going to pay for it?” is never asked about endless war?

You really can't expect much from a country that has to do this

My son is in tech school right now, Rick. I'm scared for him and all those young faces I saw at his BMT graduation. My family has given enough. Thank you for your words and support, they mean all the things.

You cannot talk like this about any other minority in America.

And if it was any other president’s adviser who said something like this about any other minority, it’d be the instant end of their presidency.

The prayers are being offered on Facebook for our military people and I want to scream "save your prayers and vote to keep them from being pawns for fascists!"

Hey, quick question, where the hell is Congress?

[hands barista a USB] My order’s on here. It’s complicated.

You can eat off my kitchen floors. Mostly because of the amount of food on them.

risotto is short for charismaotto

I hope you aren’t drunk and took your staff’s advice, Rashida and I don’t know this man and feel confident he didn’t care about us. Please restrain from drinking too much as you have been warned from your staff and stay off social media when you are drunk. I pray in his holy month you find peace and respect for your self,

uhhh oh my god

practicing good portion control by having only one major mental breakdown every day

While Trump takes us back to 1975.