Grocery shopping was hard 🫣
07.03.2026 23:23
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
Grocery shopping was hard 🫣
🫠
Precum wasn’t on his grocery list, but I solved that problem with a few well timed pics
There are too many words so I just want to say this one: FUCK!
Is it too much to ask for one day without ten interruptions for Breaking News
The wine - it’s evaporating
Send help
They had Runner Ducks at Tractor Supply today and long story short I’m buying a farm.
All's fair in love and war when you're a dick.
Me: I feel like these game developers aren’t even making these levels hard anymore
Him: Are you on level 200 or something?
Me: No, higher
Him: 350
Me: Higher
Him: 500!?
Me: Higher
Him: 1000? Babe, really?
Me: No
Him:
Me:
Him:
Me: Fine, level 2028
Welcome to your 50s, you now spend an exorbitant amount of time hydrating your skin
I’m 3 for 3 on days of drinking alcohol since dry February ended
Please clap
Find someone who not only welcomes your sex toys into the bedroom, but gives them all nicknames too
March 3rd, 1986 — Metallica released their legendary third studio album Master of Puppets.
A defining moment in thrash metal history. From the crushing title track to the haunting power of “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)” and the instrumental masterpiece “Orion,” this album changed heavy music forever.
You know how edibles make one part of your body supersonic? Well turns out this time it picked my blocked ear, which is now supersonic blocked.
Birds in skirts…
I keep clutching my pearl necklace but my hands get so sticky.
Fuck it send
If this dystopian hell continues, we will soon reach the event horizon when milligrams will no longer be a sufficient unit of measure for my daily THC requirements.
"You shouldn't use drugs to escape reality!"
Seriously? Have you fucking seen reality lately?
It’s a beautiful day for anxiety
Martian Manhunter 14 (763)
Such a gud girl 🥰
You guys- February is almost over!
Only 38,262 more days!
My car just reminded me to check the rear seat for passengers where I had placed the bottles of alcohol I bought in preparation for March.
Just in case you were wondering how dry February has been going for me.
when rando cats let you pet them … that 😍
Wonder Woman 24 (726)
the sun has set behind rooftops, creating a yellow halo on the horizon beneath the blue sky filled with grey and white clouds
sit with me and watch the day melt away
There’s still a month before real baseball starts and I’ll complain about it every day if I have to
DC Universe Legacies 2 (731)
"Slow and low, that is the tempo"
-me, cooking in my crock pot
just gonna keep posting my little pictures like life is beautiful and i don't want to die 🙃
Might leave the house today, but only because the dog is out of yogurt