Lord Cruise of Fail

No clue

Even if I was bi (kinsey 6 here) yall too far

Nope either way no

He continued. Offering to meet some one 9000k away when they msged you 5 secs ago is a real red flag.

Saying “good to see you” when I don’t know you and you don’t have a pic is extra creepy

Scruff chat screen Them: “ hello, sir” Me “hello” Them: “how’s daddy” Me: “I don’t recall agreeing to you calling me that” Them: <eye roll emoji> Me “responding with the eye roll emoji is not how I like to correspond with people looking to submit to me. Thank you for your interest, but I don’t think we’d be a match.”

Look I can totally get into daddy boy role-play but I don’t know this person and they’re 21 so I could literally have had them when I was 23. Also the rudeness of some “subs”

Sorry he’s not getting credit for that. The follow up entries kinda back this up

Scruff chat screen Them: hey 😈 Me: sorry, not into torsos Them: I’m actually Aries, where did you get torso from? Is my info wrong? Me: that would be Taurus. I got “torso“ from your pic and that’s all I got from your pic.

People ask if I make these up and I just don’t think I can come up with this nonsense

So also it says he was 5,600km away. Dubai is minimum 11,000 km away, so no face, weird opening, no profile and spoofed location I’m going to pass

Scruff chat screen Them: “What up sexy” Me: “TV and that's about it” Them: “Fun Me: What are you wearing sexy” “Clothes” Them: “Lol What underwear do you have on” Me: “Thanks for compliment but not looking to write erotica have a great weekend tho”

I should start charging for erotica … I’d make a mint

You know not all the messages I get are vile this was sweet … or at least my version of sweet

Love when people assume they can call me “boy” cause that’s their fantasy… not mine tho

“Mmmmmm” is creepy right? I’m not alone here am I ?

Dickface isn’t a statement of fact

- no, I won’t be answering questions found on my profile
- no, I didn’t think a 64 year old looked 30 nor is 30 too young for me, or 64 too old, but a 64 year old saying they are 30 they are too young for me

Love random junk shots

I just love junk shots *shudder*

“Mmmmmm” just sounds so creepy

What we need is a homo-menomenom

Typos are rough everywhere

Really gotta start proof reading
“That gets” not “that’s”

Scruff app chat screen Them: “I'm a Horny Btm Love body contact, 4play, 69, kissing n sucking nonstop, getting fucked Hard Deep n Rough n exploring Good morning mr More pics n video” Me: “No thanks Thanks for the message, however I dont think we'd be a match. have a good day and happy hunting!” Them: “Hey Sxc” Me: “Hi l'm really not interested in playing with you or trading nudes or chatting further. I have indicated this before please make note of it for future thank you”

So spelling it “Sxc” does give me the ick

Oh … he tried to explain himself ….yaaaa naaaaaww

Sending “!?” Will not now nor ever endear me to someone

Get off my lawn you kids!

I’ve not heard “standing on business” before as a term
What does it mean?

Go on…

Scruff chat screen Them: “Hello” Me: “Hi” Them: “How are you? Pull it out” Me: “I mean I was probably better before you said ‘pull it out’” Them: “I’m sorry. Just kidding” Me: “I do not think that you were. You were seeing if I’d do it. That’s not kidding, it’s testing the waters. Anyway, I don’t think we’ll be a match, but have a good day.”

Do not confused “kidding” with “trying something and it not going to plan”

Remember soft tones on people that write messages like serial killers. Translated, the message was quite benign, but had 3 typos, all caps, and was in german despite it saying no where on my profile that I could speak german (and I can’t), oh and punctuation. From. Hell

Scrub chat window. Them: “Westend horny tight sub Italian! I want to be someone’s bitch, love kissing, oral, nipple play, rimming, being pounded. Hosting in Roncy” Me: “I mean, I respond better to ‘hello’“

It’s the simple greetings I miss LOL

Scruff chat screen Them: “I’m looking for a real masculine discreet guy that turns into a total sub bottom whore in bed hungry for cock and hard fuck. You in 😈😜” Me: “I’m into people that take at least a passing glance at text in my profile. Where it indicates I’m a top, dom, not into discreet or toxic masculinity… otherwise ya totally in (to be clear the last part is sarcasm)

Thanks for telling me what you’re looking for… we’ll keep you on file. *scrunches up application*