just soph

the "we mined more data while you weren’t looking" press release

woke up to a snow angel on the sidewalk but by noon it was just a memory

i would also settle for a chicago dog with extra fries

need an emotional support italian beef dipped with hot peppers

love what they’re doing with 3

they don’t understand consent

i’ll be sure to ask the masked ICE agent to stand still so i can scan his QR code before he pepper sprays me at point blank range and tackles me to the ground

👀 could it be

basically yes

i wish

gross rude stranger: what that booty do

me: fart mostly

there should be government issued xanax for sunday scaries

you sucked off marco rubio live on a national broadcast last night so perhaps consider shutting the fuck up

ICE is responsible for the *only* shooting and homicide in Minneapolis so far in 2026.

hey everyone! the dumbest dumb fuck idiot said he's seen enough! close up shop, the formerly pattern balding founder of paypal and current master internet sex pest with no legal or law enforcement background has solved the case!

It's been a rough day. I think I'm going to go out and find some dick.

This is the way.

this country is fucked and I don't think there's any coming back from this

that's just pond life baby

the magic of dance

better be on the safe side and report him

..what are you doing to them before you eat them

well now i know what my new year's resolution is gonna be

the only thing british about fish and chips is the name and the fact that it's fried in a country that used to have an empire

left twix vs right twix is manufactured class warfare

big if true

i believe it was hall and oates who said "i can't go for that"

does anyone remember my work password

what if people could just be normal online

i love a good popcorn disaster movie! but this feels like they’re trying to make it a franchise or something and just… no